Hi BelleVue,

I am in a very similar situation to you and so I will share what I think. 

My situation - without too much detail he has been hot (saying all the things I heard him say in meditation) and promising to visit ( he lives in another state) and then obviously and pointedly going cold.  I havn't been in full no contact with him as hes always liking and commenting on my posts but I've had enough of the insincerity of it all. Its meant I've had to deal with negative feelings toward him I don't want to have. 
Right now I've just about lost all respect and desire for him because of his behaviour.


But to your question....in principle with the teachings of Neville it is true, we can  move ourselves or someone else into a state by imagining it. However although this is true when we have a very strong emotional investment it makes this a lot more difficult. I found his behaviour just tired me out, emotionally.

The other thing to really know is that when we allow someone to treat us like that we are not practising self love. Its not loving to self to be giving our energy to someone who is playing games or treating us as unworthy. That is not to say he is a bad person, or that we have to hate them, but we can disapprove of the behaviour. Lanie says this in her books, I think it is Manifesting Love, to make sure he is a quality guy, because yes, the techniques work but with someone who is in the state of not being a person of integrity we will use all our energy doing techniques to get him to treat us right.
The truth is that wanting them while they behave hot/cold, inconsiderate of your feelings etc lowers your vibration and makes you feel less than and that is absolutely not what all of this is about.
So I would say yes you have done the right thing and now it is time to focus on you. Look up self love meditations on youtube and make a daily practise. I found that when I did this the realisation came to me very profoundly - that I did not want and did not have to suffer his behaviour any more. I think that is why I actually am not feeling the attraction to him any more. When you raise your vibration if he is still operating on the old programming you simply won't be on the same page any more.
My advice for what it is worth is concentrate on the self love and do the Cut the Cord meditation to stop your energy from being sucked away by his head games.
Concentrate on self love and build yourself up and after that if you want to, when you have sufficient detachment, start on the techniques again. 
For myself, I am realising that there just might be a healthier person out there for me to have a relationship with. 
Having said that yes I do believe that if you go no contact and concentrate on yourself he may well come back - there are plenty of those stories on here too.
I hope this helps. 
With love.

Thankyou Jag123. I wondered if I had been too negative here, but I think the way forward for me is to completely detach, because my negative attention to his behaviour was attracting more of it.
And I was too emotionally involved to completely turn it around from here.
He has been a great teacher though, because he showed me clearly that I was operating from a base of not feeling worthy of expecting what I wanted from him or any man. That is, love, trust, attention, mutual respect. An earlier version of myself would have said "he is just an **sshole but in truth he is a mirror showing me my blind spots.
So I have unfriended him on FB. I am concentrating on me for a while until I can genuinely send him the best and think of him in the best light. 
Oh, and that is great news about your ex! Good work!!

Last edited by Blue Deer (12/08/2017 7:04 pm)

I have just seen your last response Blue Deer and just want to reassure you that you were not too negative. You and I sound like we're going through similar things so it's good to hear how you're dealing with it too.

Blue Deer that WAS excellent advice and I am so happy you are using the enjoying the "cutting the cord" meditation.  Many readers fear it will detach their POI from them but it actually does the opposite.  It empowers YOU (most important) and they feel the loss of you constantly thinking of them so it affects your POI but you maintain control.  :-)