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8/11/2018 11:16 am  #11


Re: Hello - I'm new and could use some advice please!

So, I've switched on my phone again and had two messages from my POI. One that he's home again (remember, he had been traveling and sent me pics of his family including his girlfriend before I went NC). Dunno why he felt the need to tell me that he's home again days after I've told him that I wouldn't cope with this anymore. A few more days later he contacted me with a simple "hello". 

After almost four weeks passed, I reacted with an "hello". After all I wanted to manifest him contacting me first. I had been PWing him for three weeks straight and it was interesting as he reacted differently than his usual self from the last months. He asked me how I was. I can't remember when he last did that. He's no douche and has always cared very much for my feelings and how I am but since around January he has changed dramatically (and it was of course when I was full of anger, fear and insecurities about him and men in general). We had a casual chat and he told me he was still not feeling well because of his health issues. I told him he could always call me if he needs to talk and he answered "thank you, that's really kind of you". This is also unusual as lately he would have just told me "thanks" if at all. 

These are little results but they're there. He contacted me twice all by himself. He reacted immediately when I replied and he was definitely more pleasant and even asked me the next day how I was. 

The thing is - I ruined it again (internally - I didn't write or do something silly but he must have sensed it none the less as he stopped contacting me again as soon as my mood and beliefs dropped). Silly me has no patience and expected of course much more. I know I shouldn't have and I learned my lesson. I will go back to no contact again and will PW him until I feel totally secure. I will not avoid my phone again because it limits my other contacts and therefor my life. It's just so hard for me to see his picture in my contact list, knowing we don't communicate like we did for more than ten years. But I'll try to look at it and think "you're mad about me, you want to contact me and you will soon" etc. I can believe that now. It has taken me months sadly to get there and for the last few days I had a really hard time, total desperation again, lots of tears. But now I'm okay again, even fine. EFT has really helped me greatly to improve and I'm only about four weeks doing these techniques.

I just have some questions and I'd be totally grateful for answers.

I thought about buying some more of Lanie's Mp3's and there's one about "Ex moved on with another person" - as my SP is still living with that other girl, would this be right? Is it possible at all or "right" to want to attract him if he has moved on? That's something I really have issues with. About a year ago he told me he would break up with her if I'd want thim ("but you don't love me deeply") and I wanted him, I want him even more today, I just didn't have the heart to hurt this other girl. Or let's say: I wanted him to decide naturally for me - this is not a trade market, we're human beings after all! I know I have asked about this topic before but the Third Party is really the worst part for me. I fear I'm "too late" (as he has said before). 

Which of Lanie's meditations that one can buy would be best for me? I'm thinking about the "claim your man" at the moment as I need confidence I think. 

Last edited by Cahira (8/11/2018 11:27 am)

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