lildreamer wrote:

Ok, so let me see if I have grokked the general direction you're going with this: 

If I am working with an ex, and there's been some bad history there; and I keep remembering this 'story' of him and his behavior and how he treated me and what he said; etc. and so forth; then that is the belief of him I am operating from - and it's detrimental to what I'm trying to create/envision in a PW session. Per other discussions here; if I believe him to be such things as stubborn or angry or selfish (see Lanie's story for a good example, right?) or a cheater, then that's what I'm going to get at some point from him no matter what - since that is how I still perceive him to be at a fundamental level. I need to hold myself responsible for adhering to that story(belief) about him - not *blame* and shaming myself; but recognize that it's a belief I created and that it *can*, therefore, be altered. (Side note: I beleive between the two options of 1) needing to be there {in that situation} and 2) wanting to be there, that I was/am there to learn a lesson of boundaries and owning personal power).

​ Right?

So, activated by the Neville quote, would it be a good idea to not only imagine him different; but to script it so? Write down how I would mentally talk to him if he were the man that I want him to be? (Kind; supportive; romantic; attentive; loving, monogamous, etc).

Am I right that this is the direction you are going? If so, ideas to flesh this out more are what I'm looking for, certainly. Also, there's a thread over at the powerlawofattraction board that sort of /kind of touches on an aspect of this. I don't know if I'm allowed to link to them, or if maybe I should just quote it. Let me know. 

 
 

Look at it as your been given a fresh start, an opportunity to create the ideal version of him.

All the past misdoings are no longer a factor in your story. The only purpose they can now serve you is to show you what you don't want and to show you the contrast between wanted and unwanted. When you continually focus on the unwanted you will be in a endless cycle of finding evidence to support your belief and events happening to reflect your beliefs.

Think of all his best traits and script, visualise whatever takes your fancy, but that's the version of him you need to maintain focus on.

There's no blaming or shaming to even consider. You identified a misalignment and now you are proactively making amends to bring about a better outcome. That's called empowerment. You are doing the right process keep at them and maintain focus on that. 👌

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eAR0RUGBT1A

Do the work!

pixelpie wrote:

Bump

There go the positivity bump chica.

Good call, even I needed to read this today. 👌🏾

lalalovely wrote:

bump, this is just empowering for everyone  

Thank you, honey💜 This will forever be one of my favorite posts