Thanks for the sharing.we should put this as a stickies

I think a lot in terms of time. At the end of this month, it will be 4 months since he last spoke to me.  I don't want to reach a point of giving up but fear it might happen. Maybe at 6 months, 8 months, a year? I don't know.  Someone just contacted me after a year..so anything is possible.

I'm going to remain open to someone better coming into my life. Someone that will make me forget all about him. I sill cannot deny the connection I still feel with him though.

aligemini wrote:

I agree that it is very inspiring what Dan has said. But unfortunately I am on a time limit of 2-3 weeks. No getting around that

Is it because he is getting married?

Sorry, I had a rather large work project to deal with. I'm back home now

You can totally ignore it. Really. See, the issue with the gal I told you about that came back after 10 years...well, I was in exactly the same place then that you are now. She all of a sudden was pregnant and was getting married. I was shattered. I was in a selfish place and wanted this girl to want me the way that I want her. That's just how it was. I make no apologies for it...I wanted what I wanted, and that was it.

Now, she wanted nothing to do with me. Nothing at all. So, I had a lot of hatred and anger for her. I hated her and wished misery on her for years. But, when things got amazing in my life, I just had an epiphany..."why am I angry at her?" She deserves to be happy, so I truly let all that hatred go and truly wished her well in my mind.

After that, she just appeared out of nowhere one day. She's divorced, worships the ground I walk on and is totally obsessed with me. I got EVERYTHING I WANTED. Why did it take 10 years? Well, because I started out obsessed about it all...then I hated her...the hatred grew worse, etc. That's the most likely reason. When I let all of that go and decided to close out that chapter, there she was...just like I wanted.

The reason I say this is because if you KNOW that you WILL get exactly what you want...why does it matter if they get married for a little while...or why does it matter what they do? If you knew they were coming back to love and be devoted only to you after this brief detour...so be it. Who cares what they do now. This is just an ego thing...your mind and ego are throwing a tantrum because you want it "now, now, now." Trust me, when you've shifted your priorities and you focus on making yourself happy...things will start to move for you. Time limits just limit you and cause you more stress. Trust me on this. He's only moving forward with someone because he's feeling this needy energy from you. Once you aren't pushing that on him anymore, he'll suddenly wonder about you, reach out, likely realize he doesn't like this woman as much as he thinks, remember all of the amazing things about you when you talk again...and boom, you have what you want.

Really, stop focusing on the things that are happening with him. If you truly love him, you'll wish him happiness. When you can TRULY do that, and focus on your own happiness for a little while..he'll feel it and come around again. I promise.

 

DCS82 wrote:

Sorry, I had a rather large work project to deal with. I'm back home now

You can totally ignore it. Really. See, the issue with the gal I told you about that came back after 10 years...well, I was in exactly the same place then that you are now. She all of a sudden was pregnant and was getting married. I was shattered. I was in a selfish place and wanted this girl to want me the way that I want her. That's just how it was. I make no apologies for it...I wanted what I wanted, and that was it.

Now, she wanted nothing to do with me. Nothing at all. So, I had a lot of hatred and anger for her. I hated her and wished misery on her for years. But, when things got amazing in my life, I just had an epiphany..."why am I angry at her?" She deserves to be happy, so I truly let all that hatred go and truly wished her well in my mind.

After that, she just appeared out of nowhere one day. She's divorced, worships the ground I walk on and is totally obsessed with me. I got EVERYTHING I WANTED. Why did it take 10 years? Well, because I started out obsessed about it all...then I hated her...the hatred grew worse, etc. That's the most likely reason. When I let all of that go and decided to close out that chapter, there she was...just like I wanted.

The reason I say this is because if you KNOW that you WILL get exactly what you want...why does it matter if they get married for a little while...or why does it matter what they do? If you knew they were coming back to love and be devoted only to you after this brief detour...so be it. Who cares what they do now. This is just an ego thing...your mind and ego are throwing a tantrum because you want it "now, now, now." Trust me, when you've shifted your priorities and you focus on making yourself happy...things will start to move for you. Time limits just limit you and cause you more stress. Trust me on this. He's only moving forward with someone because he's feeling this needy energy from you. Once you aren't pushing that on him anymore, he'll suddenly wonder about you, reach out, likely realize he doesn't like this woman as much as he thinks, remember all of the amazing things about you when you talk again...and boom, you have what you want.

Really, stop focusing on the things that are happening with him. If you truly love him, you'll wish him happiness. When you can TRULY do that, and focus on your own happiness for a little while..he'll feel it and come around again. I promise.

 

 I don't know you very well but had to say you're pretty awesome dude!! Thanks for you're very poignant encouragement and inspirations! 🤗👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼