Posted by Jag123  11/01/2016 2:51 am | #21 |
emmiline wrote:
Wanderlust - I know just what you're going through. I met my boy almost 2 years ago, the attraction was instant and we fell in love pretty quickly. It freaked him out entirely. He left me without warning for another woman. I was absolutely devastated, particularly as he told me all of the same things yours said to you " I don't want a relationship, I don't want to settle - I love you but I can't". My first thought was why her and not me. I was heartbroken, but there was something in me that said "This isn't the end" To cut this long story short, we re-connected after a period of time and it was then that he told me how hard it had been for him while we had been apart. He never stopped thinking of me, and no woman he either went out with or slept with compared. He had fallen in love with me. The feelings were so intense he had to get away from it, and he got with this girl (who without being rude, was no me. lol!) because he knew it would go nowhere and mean nothing. He has said to me on a number of occassions when we get together he knows this is it. There won't be a break up. He says he is afraid of messing things up and losing me. If I knew then what I knew now, I would have relaxed. I would have known that men don't confess feelings like that without meaning them - whatever actions they take. If you look at how our stories mirror, I do believe he is "finding himself". I believe he wants to be the best he can be for your relationship, perhaps at the moment the timing isn't quite right. It has worked though - you haven't manifested a hook up or a fling, you've manifested a man who loves you. I'd take that over a guy who was overtaken with lust for a short period. My advice to you is graciously give him his space. Say you understand and put the focus back on yourself. A) he won't be expecting it and B) The more you focus on yourself and how wonderful you are, your vibration will raise to match it. I guarantee the moment you detatch with love and self love, he will be come back and be yours. Trust me it happened to me.... I just ruined it again by forgetting my own power and wanting to rush things...
You are nearly there, you just don't realise it....yet.
I enjoyed reading this post Jag123
Thanks Emmiline - I'm glad you enjoyed it, it was cathartic to write. It's easy to forget the basics!
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Posted by wanderlusting 11/04/2016 9:10 pm | #22 |
It has nearly been a week since I last saw him and spoke to him. I haven't reached out to him and I haven't heard from him either. Last night I had an epiphany and changed the way I started to view him. I actually felt a whole bunch of negative emotions towards him and even though it would have been nice to manifest him back and him to want to be with me again, I know that I wouldn't be able to trust him due to him choosing another girl over me. So last night and today, I have been working on releasing him, letting him go, and moving on.
I want to gently remind you that you are trying to work the law backwards. This all starts with with you. Until you change the way you look at him he can't. Your role isn't to take action to make things happen "talk, hang out, spend time together" RIGHT NOW. Your role is to align yourself to the version of the relationship and the version of you that you want and circumstances and events will re-arrange themselves to make these things happen naturally. I'm pretty sure the version of you that is in the relationship wouldn't be feeling this way about him. So that's a start.
At the moment, you are in a space where your focus is firmly fixed on him and what you perceive to be his issues. You are seeing him as someone who can't change and won't change because of your past experience. You can't get the relationship you want from there, and I know it's frustrating because logic and your current reality is telling you that it's too hard and it's not possible. If you can't take your attention from this, then perhaps you need to hang around there for a while longer until you give up on him and move on. When you give up, your attention will be taken from the bad bits and you will see him come back. If you stick with the work, focus on yourself and only apply the PW technique when you feel stronger and in control, you will see the same results and acknowledge your own power. I'm sorry that you feel this way, but you can't get there from here, and staying like this will only prolong the agony for you. This whole forum is about empowering women remember - you are giving yours away my love xx
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Posted by Oasiscalm 11/06/2016 6:02 am | #23 |
It has nearly been a week since I last saw him and spoke to him. I haven't reached out to him and I haven't heard from him either. Last night I had an epiphany and changed the way I started to view him. I actually felt a whole bunch of negative emotions towards him and even though it would have been nice to manifest him back and him to want to be with me again, I know that I wouldn't be able to trust him due to him choosing another girl over me. So last night and today, I have been working on releasing him, letting him go, and moving on.
I want to gently remind you that you are trying to work the law backwards. This all starts with with you. Until you change the way you look at him he can't. Your role isn't to take action to make things happen "talk, hang out, spend time together" RIGHT NOW. Your role is to align yourself to the version of the relationship and the version of you that you want and circumstances and events will re-arrange themselves to make these things happen naturally. I'm pretty sure the version of you that is in the relationship wouldn't be feeling this way about him. So that's a start.
At the moment, you are in a space where your focus is firmly fixed on him and what you perceive to be his issues. You are seeing him as someone who can't change and won't change because of your past experience. You can't get the relationship you want from there, and I know it's frustrating because logic and your current reality is telling you that it's too hard and it's not possible. If you can't take your attention from this, then perhaps you need to hang around there for a while longer until you give up on him and move on. When you give up, your attention will be taken from the bad bits and you will see him come back. If you stick with the work, focus on yourself and only apply the PW technique when you feel stronger and in control, you will see the same results and acknowledge your own power. I'm sorry that you feel this way, but you can't get there from here, and staying like this will only prolong the agony for you. This whole forum is about empowering women remember - you are giving yours away my love xx
@wanderlusting I would advice staying in the place you are now and clear out all the negative crap you feel.
Focus on getting back in touch with yourself and bring peace to yourself.
Releasing him is probably one of the best things you can do because after that you will awaken to the true motives as to whether you do and why you want him back. From there you are on more steady ground.
Remember it all starts and stops with you. You are the writer, producer and director of this story and you decide through your mental discipline how it will unfold.
Last edited by Oasiscalm (11/06/2016 6:20 am)
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Posted by wanderlusting 11/06/2016 10:46 am | #24 |
I have spent the past 4 days releasing him and letting him go. Moving on with my life and doing things for myself. Yesterday, I went and got my hair done and just had a "me" day. Last night shortly after 10:45pm, I received a text message from him saying, "I heard this song and I love it. I think you'll enjoy it as well." and then sent me the link. I never responded back but at 11:04pm he sent back another message saying, "I know you won't reply, but keep up the amazing work and bettering your self. I'm so proud of you."
Now, I feel so lost and confused. I know these messages are just tester messages but they aren't messages meaning that he wants to come back or he wants to give us another shot. He was very adamant last weekend that he isn't looking for a relationship, doesn't want one, didn't want to be with me ever again (except for maybe years down the road), and wanted to be single and play the field. He is notorious for sending me these kinds of messages but them leading nowhere. He still has me blocked on social media as well. I haven't responded to anything and I probably will not respond to anything because I already know it is just a check in message. Any advice from anyone?
It has nearly been a week since I last saw him and spoke to him. I haven't reached out to him and I haven't heard from him either. Last night I had an epiphany and changed the way I started to view him. I actually felt a whole bunch of negative emotions towards him and even though it would have been nice to manifest him back and him to want to be with me again, I know that I wouldn't be able to trust him due to him choosing another girl over me. So last night and today, I have been working on releasing him, letting him go, and moving on.
I want to gently remind you that you are trying to work the law backwards. This all starts with with you. Until you change the way you look at him he can't. Your role isn't to take action to make things happen "talk, hang out, spend time together" RIGHT NOW. Your role is to align yourself to the version of the relationship and the version of you that you want and circumstances and events will re-arrange themselves to make these things happen naturally. I'm pretty sure the version of you that is in the relationship wouldn't be feeling this way about him. So that's a start.
At the moment, you are in a space where your focus is firmly fixed on him and what you perceive to be his issues. You are seeing him as someone who can't change and won't change because of your past experience. You can't get the relationship you want from there, and I know it's frustrating because logic and your current reality is telling you that it's too hard and it's not possible. If you can't take your attention from this, then perhaps you need to hang around there for a while longer until you give up on him and move on. When you give up, your attention will be taken from the bad bits and you will see him come back. If you stick with the work, focus on yourself and only apply the PW technique when you feel stronger and in control, you will see the same results and acknowledge your own power. I'm sorry that you feel this way, but you can't get there from here, and staying like this will only prolong the agony for you. This whole forum is about empowering women remember - you are giving yours away my love xx
@wanderlusting I would advice staying in the place you are now and clear out all the negative crap you feel.
Focus on getting back in touch with yourself and bring peace to yourself.
Releasing him is probably one of the best things you can do because after that you will awaken to the true motives as to whether you do and why you want him back. From there you are on more steady ground.
Remember it all starts and stops with you. You are the writer, producer and director of this story and you decide through your mental discipline how it will unfold.
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Posted by Jag123 11/06/2016 2:06 pm | #25 |
Hi Wanderlusting,
It seems to me like you are heading in the right direction in spending quality time with yourself. Maybe work on changing your beliefs around his text messages? If you get what you think about, and you feel these messages don't mean anything in terms of going forward then that will probably come about. When I was with my boy, he used to say all kinds of things that were contrary to what he meant like "I don't to settle down" - when he did. If I were you, I would choose to ignore that, and concentrate my visualising the version of him that you want, saying things you want him to say. As a positive, you are in his thoughts and he does care. You just need to change your beliefs around this relationship - remember your power!
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Posted by wanderlusting 11/06/2016 6:41 pm | #26 |
Thank you so much for your comment. I think I am having an internal battle on whether or not I do want this guy. A part of me wants him because I love him and want to be with him but the other part of me cannot get over the fact that he chose other girls over me. I am struggling with that and I wonder if we ever got back together, is that something that I will not be able to let go of and would I really be able to fully trust him again.
Hi Wanderlusting,
It seems to me like you are heading in the right direction in spending quality time with yourself. Maybe work on changing your beliefs around his text messages? If you get what you think about, and you feel these messages don't mean anything in terms of going forward then that will probably come about. When I was with my boy, he used to say all kinds of things that were contrary to what he meant like "I don't to settle down" - when he did. If I were you, I would choose to ignore that, and concentrate my visualising the version of him that you want, saying things you want him to say. As a positive, you are in his thoughts and he does care. You just need to change your beliefs around this relationship - remember your power!
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Posted by Jag123 11/07/2016 7:45 am | #27 |
That sounds like a familiar battle 
I think the question you really need to ask, is can you forgive him? In order to move forward you will need to forgive him anyway, because the only person it hurts when you think about him with anyone else is yourself. When you learn to forgive him, you will find the pain will lessen and you will be in a better position to make an informed decision about what you want. You may find that when you let what he has done go - with love if you can - that you don't want the relationship. However, if you hold on to it, it will forever colour your future relationship choices, with or without him.
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Posted by wanderlusting 11/07/2016 8:01 pm | #28 |
Honestly, thinking about it. I don't think I could open myself up to him again nor do I think I would fully be able to trust him either. We actually have gone through this similar situation before when we broke up 3 years ago. He fooled around with a few girls during the break up and then came back and me thinking I could forgive him and let it go, nope, I always held it against him, which I know isn't fair but it created and caused a lot of trust issues and problems in our relationship this time around, leading to a break up I assume. So, I almost feel like I would be predicting the relationship this next go around if it happened and I am not sure I could re-live going through that again. It actually grosses me out and disgusts me. I do love him and I do care about him but his choices that he is making, pushes me further away from him. Guess I will find out what my therapist says about it all in a couple of days. Haha.
That sounds like a familiar battle
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Posted by Howardgirl12 11/15/2016 1:23 am | #29 |
OMG your story and mines are so much alike. I try with everything in me to forgive and start fresh but that's hard to do with someone who sees nothing wrong with their actions. I do believe that our guy love us. But love is not enough when we both deserve that loving commitment. A true commitment. I do wish you the best. Deep down you know what you have to do just take a deep breathe and do it. Your happiness is the only thing that matters now. After working on yourself and you feel the timing is right reach out start a true friendship. However if you feel like someone else will make you happy give someone else your heart. After going back and forward with my guy he doesn't deserve my heart. I deserve the love that I'm trying to give to him so I'm give it back to myself until him or someone else is worthy enough to have it.
Good luck
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