You have a lot going on there.  I don't have much advice for you but it reads as though
you are unsure if you even want a relationship with this man.  That's something which
I would get clarity about before doing PW on him.  You shouldn't question whether you
are a fool, we all go through things in life, that's life.  We are not fools or idiots because
we got hooked on a man.  But for myself, I don't believe that just because you "love"
someone that he is the right person for you or that you should even be together at all.  
I can't tell if you are doing NC for a specific reason as it is not about whether you are
in contact or if you are looking at his FB.  It's used after a break-up or other situations
so that you can gain control of the relationship.  Lanie covers it all in BU2MU.  If you
haven't already done so, get all of Lanie's books and read and re-read them ASAP.
I think that they can really help you deal with your current situation.