My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me 4 days ago. Prior to the break up, I had taken a contract in another country to do some work there for 4.5 months. Nearly two months after he left, I went over there and visited for 9 weeks. We ended up living together in a tiny hotel room which brought its fair share of problems and issues with it. We did argue and fight quite frequently there I guess that is where I started pushing him away with my actions. I have kind of always had trust issues and have dealt with my fair share of insecurities and jealousy. I know that this did a lot of damage in the relationship. I was supposed to leave after 8 weeks but had to push my departure time back a week due to getting extremely sick and unable to fly. During the extra week I was there, we fought even more so because he had made a comment about wanting me to go home so that he could have his personal space and just be to himself. While this was very hurtful for me to hear, I knew that he needed it but I was worried that during our time away, that he would start doubting our relationship even more so. During my stay though, he would randomly talk about our future, such as wedding cakes and children, and the plan was for us to move in together after he got back home. I was back here 12 days before he turned back to the states. After I left, he started going out more and barely communicating with me and that also created problems. He ended up having his mom pick him up from the airport where he ended up getting horrible news about his brother. I knew that he was going to get the news so I backed off, didn’t say anything to him, and gave him some time and space to process what had happened. After I came back to the states, I went and saw my doctor and having been looking at going to therapy for my underlying issues that hurt my relationship. I already started taking steps in the right direction. Two days after he arrived back home, I got a message from him saying, Good morning babe. Sorry I have been so distant. I will come over to your house later tonight. I love you.” So, fast forward 8 hours later, he comes over to my house and I walk outside and run and give him a big hug, which he ends up pushing away from me. I knew right there that something was so desperately wrong. He told me that while he loved me and his feelings hadn’t changed for me, he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I asked him why naturally. He said that he didn’t want to take the time or the energy to focus on a relationship anymore and that I have a lot of things that I need to change about myself in order to be able to have a relationship with anyone. He told me that he only wants to focus on himself and nothing else. He said that he had been dreading breaking up with me and that it was breaking his heart that he had to do so but that it was the best thing for him. I did a little begging of, why can’t you just give it a week because I haven’t seen you in 2 weeks and I have missed you since I left. No budge. I said so this means that there is no future for you and I and he said no. I told him that while it hurts that he broke up with me, that he has to do what he thinks is best and that I am here if he needs me. I asked him one more time if he was for sure and he said yes, I just need space, told me he loved me, that I wouldn’t hear or see from him anymore, and then drove off. I deleted all his contact information out of my phone as well as texting threads so I wouldn’t have the idea to go back and re-read everything making myself unhappy. It has been 4 days. I haven’t heard anything from him and I haven’t reached out to him either. I started the NC rule. I do miss him and hope for him to change his mind and come back. This happened another time 3 years ago after he had taken a contract again before. I have hopes that he will change his mind but then again I have my reservations that I damaged the relationship too much. Any advice on what I should continue to do or if you think there might be some hope in my situation?