Oh darling! In you reply you could have been me speaking to myself.  You are taking all of the right steps in uncovering your own issues as to why you are the way you are.  I have been doing the same, and it's finally dawning on me that I was not "allowing" the relationship to come to fruition because of my behaviours and limiting beliefs.  Do you truly believe you are worthy of the relationship and do you truly believe you could have the relationship you want?  Start there and take him out of the equation altogether.

The story  I - and you  -  are telling about the relationship is the not relationship that you want.  My belief is that you both want the same thing. He loves you just not the behaviours that you have honestly described.  You too are focussing on the aspects of him that you don't particularly care for. So what do you think keeps manifesting?  

You need to give yourself a break, and try not to overanalyze. The one thing I will say, is that the other women mean absolutely nothing.  Remember that - love and sex are two very different things.   His advising you to move on is nothing more than him thinking it will make it easier on himself to do the same.  He probably wants to hate you, so he can let go.  If you can, don't engage in that kind of conversation, by taking the high road  he won't  kno what the hell is going on. lol! Take yourself away from the siutation - not from him - from the situation. Decide on the relationship you want with him, and then decide the person you want to be in that relationship.  Make your work becoming that person.  Heal yourself from your past anxieties - imagine what world will open up to you when you do.  You can't fix the situation in the space you are in, and you are doing so well in moving on from that person you were to the person you are becoming.  The love is there between you, that won't ever go, but it can't move forward until you do so in yourself. Law of attraction will take the situation forward based on your vibration.   Does that make sense?

Sending you love x

I know that I want a relationship with him but I want a relationship that is better than the one that we had before and that is what I have been focusing on. I know that my behaviors drove us to where we are today but I have been taking the steps in trying to heal those parts of myself. My biggest concern is wondering if I did too much damage to the point of him never wanting to give me another try. I did the No Contact Rule for 3 weeks and during that time he had messaged me and even showed up at my house to drop my things off to me but I ignored him as it says you are supposed to do. Unfortunately, I had to break no contact when he needed something that he had left at my house for his job so I had to go to him Saturday and that is where we had "the talk" and him telling me that he doesn't want to be in my life anymore and that a future for him and I is never going to happen. He has always been the type to not get involved in relationships but I was the rare acceptance to him not wanting one. I believe that we both want different things. While I want to be in a relationship with him and show him how much I have changed, he wants to be wild, single, and free. He felt like the relationship was holding him back and told me that he is happier now being single and free than he ever was in a relationship with me. 
He did tell me that there was a difference between him having casual sex and us and that what we had was love and that the other girls are just a void to fill and for him to get validation and admiration. He told me that he was very unhappy in his life and that he is just grabbing at anything and everything to try and make himself happy. He did admit that he was heading down the path of self-destruction but that he is learning as he is going. I have initiated the no contact rule again so I won't be going to his house for a talk, I won't be texting or calling him either. I have been very respectful in his decision with this break up and giving him the time and the space that he asked for. Never did I think or even want to believe that he would be throwing himself at other girls. He has started adding a lot of girls to his social media, which he never added one single girl in all of 3 years except me. I never reacted to him doing so since the break up but woke up and found myself blocked on all social media last week.
Basically what it come down to, is now I am worried and fearful after our conversation that he won't come back this time around. I know I shouldn't "worry or be fearful" as like attracts like but then again when I was letting go and feeling happy and positive, I got the complete opposite result of my desire.  

Thank you again for commenting back. It is nice to be able to talk to someone about this outside of friends and family. 
 

I know thinking and feeling are different things but what about "free will" and how others have that. Wouldn't it not matter how much I wanted something and how I didn't want certain things to happen that if the other person wanted to do it regardless of what you were trying to manifest, wouldn't it happen either way because they made the decision to be with someone else regardless of how you felt about it. 

pixelpie wrote:

wanderlusting wrote:

pixelpie wrote:

Well I'm very sorry to hear this. But have you read any real info on loa lanie is more of an introduction. Even she said in her books she got it from someone else. Some that goes into more detail about what it is and how to use it. That someone is neville goddard. Have you read anything by him? We have some of his stuff on here. And he states very clear that we get what we assume to be true.(it's easy but still hard)

That means even if it's a lie if we believe in it good or bad it will happen. And you said you assumed the things about him going to someone else would happen. So they had to happen. The law aka loa knows no good or bad. It will always only say yes to whatever we believe in good or bad. But that also mean to change things you only need to stop assuming in what you don't want and start believing in a new story that you do. Without any worry, doubt, guilt, or fear.

So if ever you change your mind we will be here to welcome you back. But if you don't come back. I really do hope you find your happiness in the world with whomever is lucky enough that you will have them 🤗

One of the biggest problems that I came across was when people asked what happened and I explained the situation, everyone kept telling me that there was another girl or that he was going to be with another girl. So many of those thoughts filled my head but I kept pushing them out and believing that it wasn't true. I kept thinking about him just working on himself and that he would be coming back to me. While he did come back to me, he said the opposite of everything that I wanted to hear. He did tell me that he loves me, that his feelings haven't changed for me, and that he hasn't moved on but that it would be best that we weren't in each other's lives anymore so that he could lose the feelings and could move on; said he didn't want to act upon those feelings. He told me that he isn't open to the idea of having a relationship, not just with me, but with anyone else. He said he has been really enjoying the single life and has been non-stop partying for almost 3 weeks now and did find himself being attracted to other girls to the point of actually taking a girl home and hooking up with her. These are all things that he told me Saturday night. He told me that him and I would never get back together and that I needed to move on and start dating other guys. To me, if he truly loved and cared about me, he wouldn't be telling me to do those things. He did say that while the break up has been hard on him, he likes being able to do everything now that he wasn't able to do while in a relationship. He did also mention that he has been supplementing his friends and going out to fill the void of me not being in his life anymore. He said that while he knows that he is on the path of self destruction right now, that he is trying to "find himself" and figure out his life and what makes him happy. He said that maybe one day years down the road we will run into each other and then maybe we could talk then. So, I feel like despite being positive and working on my daily rituals, I manifested everything opposite of what I had been practicing. I know that he is a very stubborn person and once he sets his mind to something, he typically doesn't change it. I know there is a lot of resistance but in the meantime, I have been working on myself and going to therapy to overcome some issues (depression, anxiety, PTSD) which created a lot of problems within the relationship that ended up pushing him away. All I want is a chance/opportunity to show him how much I have changed and how our relationship would be different this time around but he is completely shut off to the idea of that happening. He stated that he didn't want to "risk" it and go through that again. 

Again I am very sorry that you have gone through all of this.

But to understand what I mean. You must understandwhat I mean when I say the word assume I'm not talking about words. I am talking about feelings. The way neville used the word. And from what you've said it seems while you did not want to think he'd done something to hurt you as people around said. You still assumed the feeling of "he will hurt me" and that could have come in any shape. I think the only reason it showed up in the shape of another person *this girl* is because the people around you were telling you that story they had no proof.

So when you tell a story and/or hear it over and over again *which is what happen here* and pair it with a feeling of hurt, worry, doubt, or guilt etc. The negative story will be made real. It works just the same for positive things too.

My point is for anything to be made real it comes from how you *FEEL* about the story you are telling yourself and others or hearing. The words help,yes. But what you get to see in the everyday real life is the feelings you assumed and felt as true.

Jag also gave you a key example of this when she said she lied to herself about her guy but the lie didn't feel real. Again everything starts and ends with how you feel about whatever it is. Had she at the time felt the story she was tell really true of herself in those moments she wouldn't be on here at all. Because she would be living a different story.

But noting is lost. The beauty of things is that we as humans can pick and choose how we feel about anything. And that's all LOA is showing you. How to run your feeling in such a way that you live in the happy agreeable life you want how you want. And not to continue to let your feels run you in such a way that you feel out of control of everything.

Sushi wrote:

My impression when I read this is that it's working, he's just not there yet. He's being spiteful and he said these things to hurt you because he's still angry about something, whatever it is. You can give up now. It's your choice. If you keep going though, he's going to break. 

 
This is exactly what i was thinking wanderlust.
Its up to you, and im happy you are at peace with your decision but i am also pretty sure he will chase you down once he realises he has really lost you.
Thank you for your well wishes too

*Hugs*

I want to gently remind you that you are trying to work the law backwards.  This all starts with with you.  Until you change the way you look at him he can't.  Your role isn't to take action to make things happen "talk, hang out, spend time together" RIGHT NOW. Your role is to align yourself to the version of the relationship and the version of you that you want and circumstances and events will re-arrange themselves to make these things happen naturally.  I'm pretty sure the version of you that is in the relationship wouldn't be feeling this way about him.  So that's a start.  

At the moment, you are in a space where your focus is firmly fixed on him and what you perceive to be his issues.  You are seeing him as someone who can't change and won't change because of your past experience.  You can't get the relationship you want from there, and I know it's frustrating because logic and your current reality is telling you that it's too hard and it's not possible. If you can't take your attention from this, then perhaps you need to hang around there for a while longer until you give up on him and move on.  When you give up, your attention will be taken from the bad bits and you will see him come back.  If you stick with the work, focus on yourself and only apply the PW technique when you feel stronger and in control, you will see the same results and acknowledge your own power.  I'm sorry that you feel this way, but you can't get there from here, and staying like this will only prolong the agony for you.  This whole forum is about empowering women remember - you are giving yours away my love xx

 

Last edited by Jag123 (11/01/2016 2:53 am)