Probably screwed up majorly by texting him...

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Posted by LightReading
11/09/2016 8:12 pm
#1

So I've used the cord cutting meditation and p-whip for my ex. I did cord cutting twice and p-whip like 5 times over the course of several weeks. I also stopped myself from thinking negative thoughts about him, and sent positive ones his way. Whenever I would think about our break up, I would deny myself from ruminating on it. I did these techniques because I honestly want an apology and for things to become amicable between us.

I think I may have ruined what progress I made. This morning, because of the shocking election, I texted him. We used to talk politics all the time, so I mentioned the win and told him that I hope he's doing well. I hadn't spoken to him in over 7 months, by the way. 

He responded that he doesn't know why I messaged him, things aren't okay between us, he wasted time with me and doesn't want to repeat our "cycle", he's okay, and yes, Trump is bad.

Now honestly, I think he could have ignored my text if he really didn't want to hear from me, but maybe I'm coloring his response. It did seem oddly emotional and a tad excessive on his part.

So...

1. How can I undo what seems like damage from the text I sent?
2. Is this even damage? 
3. Should I text back?


 

Posted by soulful_queen3
11/09/2016 8:56 pm
#2

Hey! Please don't text him back. Delete the messages and act as if none of this ever happened. I know the election results were shocking, but refrain from communicating about it with him. Don't worry about what happened or what he said because he didn't say it

Start over with your cutting the cord mediation and really just find different outlets and people to talk to about the election or whatever you choose. I know if can be challenging because he may be the one you vent to or talk to about certain things, but just put that to the side. Stay focus and talk to him through your PW.

Posted by LightReading
11/10/2016 5:44 am
#3

soulful_queen3 wrote:

Hey! Please don't text him back. Delete the messages and act as if none of this ever happened. I know the election results were shocking, but refrain from communicating about it with him. Don't worry about what happened or what he said because he didn't say it

Start over with your cutting the cord mediation and really just find different outlets and people to talk to about the election or whatever you choose. I know if can be challenging because he may be the one you vent to or talk to about certain things, but just put that to the side. Stay focus and talk to him through your PW.

Thank you. 

I deleted the messages, and I can't lie, there's a tangible regret inside. There is so much I want to say in response. I've always wondered.... does ignoring angry people make things worse?


Another question:  my understanding is that we should avoid negative thoughts. But negative thoughts are natural. How can I make any negative emotions about this situation move me closer to my meditation goal besides bottling them up?

 

Posted by Oasiscalm
11/10/2016 8:54 am
#4

LightReading wrote:

Another question:  my understanding is that we should avoid negative thoughts. But negative thoughts are natural. How can I make any negative emotions about this situation move me closer to my meditation goal besides bottling them up?

 

An analogue for you imagine you were driving down a road and there were roadwork which had closed the rest of the road off. What would you do? Would you try to drive through them? Would you stay in the middle of the road waiting for the road to reopen?

Or would you despite being annoyed, accept that you can't drive down that road any further, turn your car around and find a new route.

Because that exactly how you should see your situation as it stands. The road that you are currently on to your ex is blocked/closed. So u can sit where u are allowing the sight of it keep bringing up negative emotions. Or you can ACCEPT what's happened, release it as actions of the past which no longer need to have an effect on you. And turn yourself around on to a new route i.e. Becoming a deliberate creator.

Yes negative thoughts and emotions are natural and they do come up but you have to train yourself to not entertain them. You don't need to bottle them up, in fact I would strongly advise you not to bottle them up. Find a pway to release them and as time goes by they lose their power and appear a lot less.

Posted by Marz
11/10/2016 11:19 am
#5

LightReading wrote:

So I've used the cord cutting meditation and p-whip for my ex. I did cord cutting twice and p-whip like 5 times over the course of several weeks. I also stopped myself from thinking negative thoughts about him, and sent positive ones his way. Whenever I would think about our break up, I would deny myself from ruminating on it. I did these techniques because I honestly want an apology and for things to become amicable between us.

I think I may have ruined what progress I made. This morning, because of the shocking election, I texted him. We used to talk politics all the time, so I mentioned the win and told him that I hope he's doing well. I hadn't spoken to him in over 7 months, by the way. 

He responded that he doesn't know why I messaged him, things aren't okay between us, he wasted time with me and doesn't want to repeat our "cycle", he's okay, and yes, Trump is bad.

Now honestly, I think he could have ignored my text if he really didn't want to hear from me, but maybe I'm coloring his response. It did seem oddly emotional and a tad excessive on his part.

So...

1. How can I undo what seems like damage from the text I sent?
2. Is this even damage? 
3. Should I text back?


 

The fact that he replied that way tells me his feelings are still there. Don't feel bad for texting - it's not as if you begged him at his feet (which I've done before - not literally lol) but even if you did, you can still always change the vibration and direction of where you want to change things.
I would apologize for texting and tell him I won't do it again. If anything, this calms the waters just a little bit.
Do the PW technique and hear him apologize, feel the apology, feel the emotions, cry if you have to and don't think that this is it. I've literally had this guy tell me to stay the FUCK away from him more than once (long story), but now, we're back on better terms - not together, but there's the familiar warmth that we usually always go back to. You can have the same.
PW 5 times over several weeks is not enough IMHO. I would do it atleast daily. I'm currently doing it 3 times a day for 30 days using Lanie's meditation. You may join my challenge if you'd like. I know not everyone can afford the recording, so you can just do the technique per the book
Feel better and again - if he didn't care, he wouldn't still be upset after so many months. There's emotion there. That's a good thing

Posted by Amazonne
11/10/2016 11:26 am
#6

Hey, nah don't even sweat it. The ex WHO IS TEXTING ME RIGHT NOW is someone I "messed up" baaaad with in the past. I was so freaking crazy, texted much worse and did much worse. Now he can't let me go- it's as if none of that ever happened. He also sent me some really terrible and patronizing texts, but it was a reflection of where I was at the time. He will reflect your changed vibration. Trust me, when you feel great about yourself he will have no choice but to reflect that. Put it out of your head and live in the end of what you want! xx

Posted by LightReading
11/10/2016 12:38 pm
#7

Oasiscalm wrote:

LightReading wrote:

Another question:  my understanding is that we should avoid negative thoughts. But negative thoughts are natural. How can I make any negative emotions about this situation move me closer to my meditation goal besides bottling them up?

 

An analogue for you imagine you were driving down a road and there were roadwork which had closed the rest of the road off. What would you do? Would you try to drive through them? Would you stay in the middle of the road waiting for the road to reopen?

Or would you despite being annoyed, accept that you can't drive down that road any further, turn your car around and find a new route.

Because that exactly how you should see your situation as it stands. The road that you are currently on to your ex is blocked/closed. So u can sit where u are allowing the sight of it keep bringing up negative emotions. Or you can ACCEPT what's happened, release it as actions of the past which no longer need to have an effect on you. And turn yourself around on to a new route i.e. Becoming a deliberate creator.

Yes negative thoughts and emotions are natural and they do come up but you have to train yourself to not entertain them. You don't need to bottle them up, in fact I would strongly advise you not to bottle them up. Find a pway to release them and as time goes by they lose their power and appear a lot less.

So acknowledge them, but don't let them overtake me?

Hmmm, I may need to get back to exercising regularly. That seemed to help with emotional control. 
 

Posted by LightReading
11/10/2016 12:43 pm
#8

Marz wrote:

The fact that he replied that way tells me his feelings are still there. Don't feel bad for texting - it's not as if you begged him at his feet (which I've done before - not literally lol) but even if you did, you can still always change the vibration and direction of where you want to change things.
I would apologize for texting and tell him I won't do it again. If anything, this calms the waters just a little bit.
Do the PW technique and hear him apologize, feel the apology, feel the emotions, cry if you have to and don't think that this is it. I've literally had this guy tell me to stay the FUCK away from him more than once (long story), but now, we're back on better terms - not together, but there's the familiar warmth that we usually always go back to. You can have the same.
PW 5 times over several weeks is not enough IMHO. I would do it atleast daily. I'm currently doing it 3 times a day for 30 days using Lanie's meditation. You may join my challenge if you'd like. I know not everyone can afford the recording, so you can just do the technique per the book
Feel better and again - if he didn't care, he wouldn't still be upset after so many months. There's emotion there. That's a good thing

Thanks for answering how often I need to do this! I've been wondering how much meditating is enough! I will do it more from now on. 

Yeah, I feel like if he was really done with me, he would have just blocked or ignored me. I hear that men take longer to process negative emotions, so maybe that's why he is still angry after all this time. I have faith that he doesn't believe I am/was a waste of time, but that he was trying to hurt me. Maybe get a negative response back so he could justify his anger, when really, he's the reason why we broke up. He has no one to blame but himself. 

People are so complicated lol. 
 

Posted by LightReading
11/10/2016 12:47 pm
#9

Amazonne wrote:

Hey, nah don't even sweat it. The ex WHO IS TEXTING ME RIGHT NOW is someone I "messed up" baaaad with in the past. I was so freaking crazy, texted much worse and did much worse. Now he can't let me go- it's as if none of that ever happened. He also sent me some really terrible and patronizing texts, but it was a reflection of where I was at the time. He will reflect your changed vibration. Trust me, when you feel great about yourself he will have no choice but to reflect that. Put it out of your head and live in the end of what you want! xx

Wow at your story! Haha maybe I'm exaggerating the "damage" I think I did in my head...

To the bolded: I will! Though I felt some regret about the text I sent, I am happy I sent it because at least I know where he is at emotionally. I know he will be back. It may take some time, but this is not the end. 
 

Posted by Marz
11/10/2016 1:47 pm
#10

LightReading wrote:

Marz wrote:

The fact that he replied that way tells me his feelings are still there. Don't feel bad for texting - it's not as if you begged him at his feet (which I've done before - not literally lol) but even if you did, you can still always change the vibration and direction of where you want to change things.
I would apologize for texting and tell him I won't do it again. If anything, this calms the waters just a little bit.
Do the PW technique and hear him apologize, feel the apology, feel the emotions, cry if you have to and don't think that this is it. I've literally had this guy tell me to stay the FUCK away from him more than once (long story), but now, we're back on better terms - not together, but there's the familiar warmth that we usually always go back to. You can have the same.
PW 5 times over several weeks is not enough IMHO. I would do it atleast daily. I'm currently doing it 3 times a day for 30 days using Lanie's meditation. You may join my challenge if you'd like. I know not everyone can afford the recording, so you can just do the technique per the book
Feel better and again - if he didn't care, he wouldn't still be upset after so many months. There's emotion there. That's a good thing

Thanks for answering how often I need to do this! I've been wondering how much meditating is enough! I will do it more from now on. 

Yeah, I feel like if he was really done with me, he would have just blocked or ignored me. I hear that men take longer to process negative emotions, so maybe that's why he is still angry after all this time. I have faith that he doesn't believe I am/was a waste of time, but that he was trying to hurt me. Maybe get a negative response back so he could justify his anger, when really, he's the reason why we broke up. He has no one to blame but himself. 

People are so complicated lol. 
 

Go for it! Just do it in a relaxed and non-forceful manner - it's empowering! And he'll feel you!
Yea, he was taking a jab at you. He doesn't believe you were a waste of time. Honestly, from the outside looking in, it doesn't look bad. I know when you're in the situation it can look hopeless, but I'm telling you it's not.
When you think about him, send warm thoughts of love - hear him say "I'm sorry". KNOW that that's how he feels and when you think of that text message (which I urge you not to, but if you do) make it work for you and just say "yep, he still loves me, he's just still being salty, he'll be aight with his grumpy ass 😂😂😂".
You'll be fine, sweets. The better you feel, the quicker you yield your desires.

Last edited by Marz (11/10/2016 1:48 pm)



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