Lanie Stevens "Empowering Women" - http://laniestevens.com / Help.

**Posted by lildreamer** 11/30/2016 12:11 am

Everything was going along pretty well. We were talking more; we unblocked each other on Facebook; we were sending funny text messages back and forth. I had messaged him this afternoon about something he'd left here that I needed to ask a question about; and he called back and answered my question; and was talking about other things. He said he was going to try to move out of the place he is ( 10 hours north in a very cold state) to a warmer climate so he could pursue what he's been to college for (marine mechanic) in a place that has better all-year weather. This was kind of a hint that maybe he'd be closer to me and our son than he is, although he did NOT say anything like that (almost any marine jobs would be within 5-6 hours of me unless he goes completely west coast; which is unlikely. Most of the jobs he wants are here on the east coast - less competition).

THEN, he called back to say that he wanted to talk to me..that he has started to see someone. And he hoped it didn't 'ruin my day'.

WTF??

I have NOT been concentrating on him being with ANYONE else. I have been visualizing him in the bubble; and with me; etc.

What just happened? How did I create this?

Then he said there was nothing else to discuss.

We were together 14 years. We have a child together. He has my name tattoed on his arm. He called me his soulmate for years. He said two months ago in a drunken phone call that he was still 'madly in love' with me. A month ago he sent me a song he had made for me seven or eight years ago.

I am blown away. Please help me reframe this.

**Posted by Avaelle** 11/30/2016 8:33 am

I understand how easy it is to get flustered and discouraged when something you don't desire manifests. It happened to me. It is very important to stay upbeat and not get down.

Do not question the Universe, just be patient with it and know that it is bringing you what you desire. Even though something has been said or done that makes you think it isn't going to happen.

Keep living your life, enjoy your son, your husband is coming.

Others will be along to help out more.

**Posted by sarahjayne** 11/30/2016 2:23 pm

My advice: FORGET what he said on the phone and imagine him saying he wants to see you.

Keep doing PW and forget what he is doing.

**Posted by Sushi** 11/30/2016 8:24 pm

It just sounds like he was trying to get your attention to me. First the drunken confession, then the song, then "I'm dating someone else"? It's possible he's trying to make you jealous. Does he know you're still interested in him?

**Posted by lildreamer** 12/01/2016 7:36 am

Sushi wrote:
It just sounds like he was trying to get your attention to me. First the drunken confession, then the song, then "I'm dating someone else"? It's possible he's trying to make you jealous. Does he know you're still interested in him?

I don't think I've given him any indication *directly* that I want to get back together. It was a BAD, BAD breakup and I was no/limited contact for months (due to the child; there was some contact of course). A couple months ago (about two weeks after that drunken phone call) we made some peace and he said he hoped we could be friends again; etc. I've always just been friendly, upbeat and as honest as possible. But I've never said anything about wanting him back with ME. I HAVE said to other people that I wish he were back here in the area specifically so that he could be a more active parent to our child; just not necessarily *with me*. But I'll be honest; this thing the other day has made me initiate no contact again. I know he knows I'm upset, and I know that kind of 'gives me away'; but we DID have 14 years together and I was his 'soulmate'. I don't think ANYONE would not be upset about this.

So I figured NC was the best way to go; after I said a couple things I needed to on text. I haven't spoken to him in two days except to let our son say goodnight on the nightly phone call (I don't speak, I just dial the phone and let them talk). I've done the Cord Cutting twice; and PW and Burn every morning.

This morning, a girl he used to work with here a few years ago messaged me and told me he tried to talk to her on Instagram back at the beginning of November. She sent me the screenshots. It was pretty innocent,but not sure why he's trying to talk to her since, like me, she's here and he's 10 hours away. She said she just wanted to let me know. *shrug* Not sure what's up with that.

**Posted by Believe** 12/09/2016 12:37 pm

ASK BELIEVE RECEIVE!