My husband is definitely a narc. I think the other guy just feels stuck in his marriage because of the child. They got pregnant to try and fix the marriage because they were on the verge of divorce. It didn’t help, obviously, but he feels the need to be there for the child. I believe the only reason my husband is still with me is for finances. He’s not working and is avoiding work, I believe to avoid having to pay spousal support.

Ron0630 wrote:

They are both narcissistic and controlling. I’d say the married guy is less, though.
My husband is the type where I have found a list of destruction, that outlined gaslighting me, creating an addictive love with intent to steal my personal inheritance and eventually ruin my life.
The other guy, we cared very much for each other, but it never got physical. The child is the reason we never ended up together and I would never settle for being his mistress. He’d have to leave.

Your husband sounds like someone I would run from, too.  Life alone is better than life in misery.