Lanie Stevens, Author -- "Empowering Women Forum" - http://laniestevensauthor.com

You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



11/11/2017 6:53 am  #11


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Lanie Stevens wrote:

Jag123 wrote:

Ha ha!  I think you've missed the point.  When I truly  let go, it took me a month to  manifest a text.  For 9 months of the 10,I was in a state of desperation, I didn't have any self respect and I put all of my energy into "trying to get him back".  All the while he was with someone else and I was blocked.  Like a fool  I still  wanted him back.  When I took back my power, energy and focused on myself the situation changed in a month.

10 months is a long wait and I will never ever do that for another person and to myself ever again! I have no doubt he will try and get back into my life again because I no longer care whether a relationship comes from him or someone better.  If it is him, it will never be the version of him I once knew. 

Does that make sense?
xx

I love the fact that you realized that the first nine months you were blocking the manifestation because you obsessed over it. Once you focused on yourself and let go of fear of failure he came back! Good job! :-)

Thank you Lanie.  You are truly wonderful for sharing this with us all and in such a brilliant way.  I bought your  books to get my man back  - but the real prize was getting myself  and my life back.  For that I give you my heartfelt thanks.  Sending you love and hugs sister xx

11/12/2017 2:28 pm  #12


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Jag123 wrote:

Hi ladies, 

I posted here when the guy I was with left me for the second time.  As a bit of a backstory we met and it was "magical". He didn't want a committed relationship but met someone else and started up something with her.  I was devastated.  During that time, I went a bit crazy on trying all of these techniques, looking back I was waaaay too attached.  Somehow he did come back, but again looking back, I was attached but didn't do anything wrong I just wanted a relationship.  He left me again for someone else (as I type this I realise how awful he was!), and it took me a long time to get over. I felt like a loser ,a failure and just completely unattractive.  We hadn't had any contact for 10  months....until two days ago. 

For 9 of these 10 months I couldn't get him out of my head, and it affected everything especially my self esteem.  Last month out of sheer desperation I gave up.  I sat in meditation and EFT came to me.  So, I opened YouTube and did some tapping along to Brad Yates.  I've tried it before but never consistently.  I made a decision there and then that I was going to focus on myself.  I was going to be the best me I could be.  I was going to get clear about what I wanted and I was going to manifest them.  I realised  I didn't want THAT relationship anymore or a person who didn't respect me. However, to have the relationship of my dreams and the respect that went with  it, I had to release the blocks I had to both.   I didn't respect myself otherwise I wouldn't be obsessed with someone who treated me so badly.  Somewhere along the line ,I didn't think I deserved the relationship I wanted so I would have settled for him anyway he wanted to be there  (I cringe at this now).  Law of Attraction is a very fair friend, I asked and it was given.  Lol! 

So I tapped everyday for a month, I felt clearer and happier (I love tapping now!) Daily I listed of all the things I was grateful for and the good things in my life.  I woke up an hour earlier each day and spent that time in bed just being still with myself.   During that month so many good things happened.  My relationships changed, new people came in (including new boys - I used to tell myself no one could compare, I can't believe I was happy with that but deep down I didn't believe anyone would want me) , I attracted fun situations but most importantly I felt free of the longing and desperation and the freedom was exhilirating!  I found me again and I loved her so much. 

Anyway (the bit you are waiting for lol!)  two days ago I was away with a friend.  I casually looked at my phone and there was a message from him.  Let me clear, in these 10 months I was blocked on everything, he had a new girlfriend, he ignored every text I sent (so embarassed now in hindsight - because when he unblocked me he would have received them all in one go lol! ).  When I got the message I was desperate for just two months ago I was indifferent. Why?  Because I have changed.  The text was just a "hi how are you" but I was so pathetic then, just a "How are you" would have made me so happy and grateful.     I'm not going back to that. If he wants me then he will either make the effort or there is someone way better.  I hadn't done PW or BWD in months and whilst I believe they work, I couldn't magnetise what I wanted because I was blocking it. Doing it made me depressed and kept me attached as I was doing it out of sheer desperation .  Working on myself allowed this to happen, and the fact I don't feel excited or wondering what will happen next is because the attachment is gone.  I still love him but I love me SO SO much more.  I deserve the best and only the best! 

Part of me wonders what the results would be if I did BWD on him now just as an experiment.  I don't have the same attachment and need,  but I did it for so long before I must have built up a a lot in the cosmic bank  

Good luck with your journeys, but remember this all starts with you and only you.

J x

 
I know the techniques work as soon as you let go,  I've seen things manifest in my life immediately after there is no more emotional attachment. But knowing this doesn't automatically make you unfeel your desire.  I wish I could do that right now because I feel hopeless and I'm desperate to have him back. He's ignoring me and I miss him so much it hurts. I decided to stop seeing him because he wouldn't tell me how he felt about me, he took advantage of how I feel about him and he even told me that, not in a mean way, he said it smiling but the point is that I felt like I needed to teach him a lesson. Only now i feel like I'm the one being punished. I want to just run back to him and it is taking every ounce of my weakened strength not to do it. But I can't stop crying. My mind goes to hell imagining the worst possible reasons why he doesn't contact me. I know I need to stop this behavior for my own good but I love him so much it's killing me to be away from him.
Congratulations on your success, not because he contacted you but because you regained your power 👏👏👏


Never Miss a Chance to Dance

11/12/2017 9:09 pm  #13


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Jag123 wrote:

DJ wrote:

Jag123 wrote:

Hi ladies, 

I posted here when the guy I was with left me for the second time.  As a bit of a backstory we met and it was "magical". He didn't want a committed relationship but met someone else and started up something with her.  I was devastated.  During that time, I went a bit crazy on trying all of these techniques, looking back I was waaaay too attached.  Somehow he did come back, but again looking back, I was attached but didn't do anything wrong I just wanted a relationship.  He left me again for someone else (as I type this I realise how awful he was!), and it took me a long time to get over. I felt like a loser ,a failure and just completely unattractive.  We hadn't had any contact for 10  months....until two days ago. 

For 9 of these 10 months I couldn't get him out of my head, and it affected everything especially my self esteem.  Last month out of sheer desperation I gave up.  I sat in meditation and EFT came to me.  So, I opened YouTube and did some tapping along to Brad Yates.  I've tried it before but never consistently.  I made a decision there and then that I was going to focus on myself.  I was going to be the best me I could be.  I was going to get clear about what I wanted and I was going to manifest them.  I realised  I didn't want THAT relationship anymore or a person who didn't respect me. However, to have the relationship of my dreams and the respect that went with  it, I had to release the blocks I had to both.   I didn't respect myself otherwise I wouldn't be obsessed with someone who treated me so badly.  Somewhere along the line ,I didn't think I deserved the relationship I wanted so I would have settled for him anyway he wanted to be there  (I cringe at this now).  Law of Attraction is a very fair friend, I asked and it was given.  Lol! 

So I tapped everyday for a month, I felt clearer and happier (I love tapping now!) Daily I listed of all the things I was grateful for and the good things in my life.  I woke up an hour earlier each day and spent that time in bed just being still with myself.   During that month so many good things happened.  My relationships changed, new people came in (including new boys - I used to tell myself no one could compare, I can't believe I was happy with that but deep down I didn't believe anyone would want me) , I attracted fun situations but most importantly I felt free of the longing and desperation and the freedom was exhilirating!  I found me again and I loved her so much. 

Anyway (the bit you are waiting for lol!)  two days ago I was away with a friend.  I casually looked at my phone and there was a message from him.  Let me clear, in these 10 months I was blocked on everything, he had a new girlfriend, he ignored every text I sent (so embarassed now in hindsight - because when he unblocked me he would have received them all in one go lol! ).  When I got the message I was desperate for just two months ago I was indifferent. Why?  Because I have changed.  The text was just a "hi how are you" but I was so pathetic then, just a "How are you" would have made me so happy and grateful.     I'm not going back to that. If he wants me then he will either make the effort or there is someone way better.  I hadn't done PW or BWD in months and whilst I believe they work, I couldn't magnetise what I wanted because I was blocking it. Doing it made me depressed and kept me attached as I was doing it out of sheer desperation .  Working on myself allowed this to happen, and the fact I don't feel excited or wondering what will happen next is because the attachment is gone.  I still love him but I love me SO SO much more.  I deserve the best and only the best! 

Part of me wonders what the results would be if I did BWD on him now just as an experiment.  I don't have the same attachment and need,  but I did it for so long before I must have built up a a lot in the cosmic bank  

Good luck with your journeys, but remember this all starts with you and only you.

J x

 
My story is almost exactly the same as yours. It is as if you took the words from my mouth. It is going to be 10 months of NC in my case too. I am not desperate anymore but just struggle with forgiving him and myself. Thank you for your post, I got some perspective from this

I am glad my post resonated with you DJ, you sound like you are on the right path - it's not an easy one.  In fact it is MUCH easier to stay in desperation, because you don't have to look  in the mirror to see the real reason for your pain.  Remember Neville says your world is you pushed out, so by forgiving yourself you forgive him. What helped me with forgiveness was to make peace with what brought me to here, left the past where it belongs (when old emotions and feelings arise I notice them, breathe through them but try not to attach a story to them) and placed my focus on forgiving myself.  In doing so, I took  back my power.  From that point on the techniques will be golden and your whole life will change, mine did.  Good luck lovely xx
 

Thank you, that is great advice! I have recently thought of contacting him just to get some closure but I dont want to be the one to contact first. Because of all the bad memories, I am tempted to contact him to make some peace but idk if I should do it or not. I will probably try focusing on forgiving myself without doing all this.

11/28/2017 7:38 am  #14


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

**UPDATE****


So I thought it would post an update, more so to validate that these teachings work, the universe works in ridiculously mysterious ways and finally  for a bit of advice.

As you know there had been some contact once I brought my energy back to myself.  Contact continued in a fleeting way, I wasn't that bothered.  It was the odd text that could have come from anyone.  Anyway fast forward to present, I bumped into him under very auspicious circumstances. Bear in mind it had been months and months and we live in different cities.  We ended up spending the evening...and night together.  We spoke a lot, including the fact that this was a fateful meeting. Funnily enough he also said that in the recent weeks he couldn't stop thinking about me. We were very familiar and very loving with each other, it felt like we had never been apart.  I hadn't been doing PW or BWD as I said previously, but I had let go.  Truly let go. Seems it all came rushing to him at once and when I got out the way, the universe conspired to arrange a meeting that we could never of engineered.. In fact, he and I both said that it was fate.

I feel like I have got my closure, though there is always a part of me that will love him.  I have changed so much in recent months that I recognise flaws in him that I would have overlooked and did overlook. What I want is different to what he can seemingly give me.  If this had happened even four months ago, I would be in pieces now. Checking the phone, willing him to call etc.  As it happens, I am so calm about it.  I don't believe people can change so my expectations of him have lowered significantly since our meeting. However, could we have the relationship I dreamed of?  After this, I am not so quick to say no. 

Not sure how to progress in terms of aligning with the dream relationship.  Also do I make an attempt to align with him? When I took my focus from him he came back, and in a big way.  I must admit that while I was shocked at the circumstances and events, in the words of Abraham Hicks, it honestly did feel like the next logical step.  Despite that, I cant' quite believe I am typing this!  

We are both seeing other people (though he is having issues) so it wasn't left in a straightforward way. Not quite sure what to do next. Advice?

Thanks in advance.

J x

     Thread Starter

11/28/2017 8:06 am  #15


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

I will also add that knowing I manifested this, I know I can manifest absolutely anything.  It's the managing of energy and focus that I am now concerned about maintaining and leveraging on. I definitely don't want to go backwards.
 

     Thread Starter

11/28/2017 9:06 am  #16


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

unicornsnrainbows wrote:

This is a wonderful story, Jag!  I'm so curious to know how/where you bumped into each other.  Yes, you did create that.  It IS possible to have the relationship you dream of...the "trick" is to keep your eye on the prize while moving through present reality.  You've already proven to yourself that miracles happen once you release your tight grip, so can you continue to do that while basking in the feeling of your perfect relationship?  Perhaps it's easier to conjure the feeling of it without attaching a face to it.  Ah, the delicate balance of feeling and believing in an unseen reality, while remaining present in the here and now (i.e. staying present in your life without concerning yourself with his).  Thank you for sharing.

Hi Unicorn

Thank you!

I was on my way back from somewhere and he was on his way back from somewhere else, we bumped into each other in a taxi queue.  It was one of those things I had  read about in books. We were literally astonished,  I woke up the morning aftet we spent the morning and early afternoon together, and couldn't quite believe it happened.  If you read my old posts you'll know why.

The advice you have given is wonderful. Because I was so focussed on myself before I barely thought about relationships.  If I did I kept it very general, so now this very specific thing has happened, should I force myself to stay general?  When I think about me and him, I don't go to desired reality I go to a  "but could it actually work" reality.  You are right, we don't attach a face to make something happen.  We do it to feel  good and like it's a normal occurrence - thus stay in alignment.  If it doesn't feel good, stay in the present and practice gratitude. I'm going to keep up the selfish living. Thank you for your help!

What might be interesting would be to do the Love Spell now while I have little attachment  to the outcome  I would be curious to see the results now there has been some contact. ...

Was very happy to share .  It really does work in ways you least expect and when you truly let go!

     Thread Starter

11/29/2017 9:10 am  #17


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Unicorn

Thank you for such a great reply, which gave me a lot of food for thought these past couple of days.  Re-reading my recent post, I can hear the neediness creeping in ever so slightly again.  As you have said,  the specific nature of focussing on him/us is not right at this time.  It's too soon to be neutral without attachment to be doing any kind of energy work around him.  Before I know it momentum will start to build and I am in the insecure place again.

I woke up this morning at 3am with this on my mind (this tends to be my witching hour when I get my conclusions to problems http://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/happy.png
),  What I realised was, that the blocks are all within ME (as they are within us all if we aren't getting that thing we want).  I feel the universe has given me a break because I let go, so  I could witness in physical form my  new normal.  It's like I'm being shown that  I am ready to take this or any future relationship to another level - by  grace of this chance encounter.  So the question is "what would this person, who I have now become do in this situation?" Certainly not fret, worry or try to make it happen.   It's quite fun to decide, like playing a part until it feels truly real.  I'm playing the part of how it feels to be beautiful, desirable,  the kind of woman that is admired and chased lol.  This  has started to become my reality - before the encounter-  so I'm ready to take it up a notch!

I suppose this is what is meant by ignoring current reality and feeling our way through to a desired outcome.  My desired outcome is actually to feel comfortable with the idea of actually HAVING the kind of relationship I want , not just in fantasy but in real life.  I have some resistance to the truly having (not the wanting), because when I think about it, it's like I can't quite believe it could happen for whatever reason.  My resistance is creating these blocks.  So to cut a long story short, I am taking my mind of it .  I'm focussing on wonderful me again, I'll continue to keep my own energy close and leave it all up to the universe  The best thing I can take from this is miracles really do happen when you get out of the way. 

 I'll update you with any manifestations!

Thanks again.

J x

     Thread Starter

12/08/2017 9:41 am  #18


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Little Update!!!

So we are back in contact again and spoke for a couple of hours on the phone last night (my initiation after texting) and it was like no time had passed.  We are talking as friends  which is absolutely fine by me, because we can discuss the past without the past emotion and hurt.  Hearing his side of events, confirmed that when are in the midst of being "left" especially without explanation we make up all kinds of things in our own heads.  I realise how much I was winding myself up and causing myself unnecessary pain during that time by being so focussed on what happened, why it happened, how I could fix it, what is he thinking etc.  Looking back it was such a cruel way to treat myself and a complete waste of time.

So, I think we are just feeling each other out and figuring out where we stand.  The most important thing is he has changed and his approach to me has changed.  I feel like he is a better version of the person I first met.  However we are at extremely early stages and it is critical that now I keep my energy and my thoughts centred. 

At this point, I would normally be overthinking, texting him without thinking, telling all my friends and pussy whipping to death.  Ha ha!  Writing this is quite cathartic because I am allowing myself the luxury of thinking about him and the possibility of what could be.  I can't actually believe I have come this far, because I hadn't spoken to him in a year and he had a girlfriend.  I was a mess and certainly couldn't conceive a two hour telephone conversation which ended with "I love you". I used to fantasise about it, but I couldn't ever imagine it  really happening.  

For the first time, I actually feel like I can do this.  I think I can do this by taking my focus from him and keeping it on the end in mind which is a relationship.  The past has gone and it deserves no attention. As Unicorn and I were discussing, aside from living my own life to the full, I will continue to release resistance around having the committed and loving relationship that is mine but just blocked.  

As an aside I highly recommend tapping.  It's quick, free and on YouTube - I genuinely believe Brad Yates is an angel.  He has hundreds of videos that are focussed on releasing your resistance.  They are life changing.  I also feel detached enough to start PW again when the mood takes.  

Will keep you updated and thank you for your support! 

J x

     Thread Starter

12/08/2017 9:56 am  #19


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Oh I should have also have said that he is single again.  He said  that a few times last night...

Last edited by Jag123 (12/08/2017 10:00 am)

     Thread Starter

12/08/2017 3:42 pm  #20


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Jag123 wrote:

Oh I should have also have said that he is single again.  He said  that a few times last night...

Do you think his break up is influenced by your mental work?
 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum

While guests are welcomed be sure to "REGISTER" so you can post your comments.