Lanie Stevens, Author -- "Empowering Women Forum" - http://laniestevensauthor.com

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12/09/2017 7:03 am  #21


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Missy wrote:

Jag123 wrote:

Oh I should have also have said that he is single again.  He said  that a few times last night...

Do you think his break up is influenced by your mental work?
 

Probably, inadvertently, because if we are working on the basis that he came back into my life after I let go and released resistance she naturally disappeared.  When I was so heavily focused on him I never really thought about her.  I knew she was around, and I did snoop on her online (cringe) but I just wanted him lol! So to answer your question, yes but not because I focused on her disappearing but because I was so invested in being with him.  Being with him meant him being single and only with me and it looks like I  may well be on the road to manfesting that. 


 

Last edited by Jag123 (12/09/2017 7:06 am)

12/09/2017 4:36 pm  #22


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Wow, your post is really inspirational to me, mostly because I am in the exact same situation.
My ex left me for someone else almost a year ago and has not spoken to me since. 

Although I diligently used the technique, I was met with even more heartbreak and he basically pushed his relationship in my face on social media last month. Some people on this forum are telling me that sometimes it's just "by meant to be".... but I don't believe that.

When you let go, did you stop thinking of him altogether?

12/11/2017 2:55 pm  #23


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

unicornsnrainbows wrote:

Thanks for keeping us updated, Jag!  I am so enjoying your story.  You are doing spectacular!  You've got this; keep the balance.  

I really like Robert Smith's Faster EFT, which is a little different from Gary Craig EFT.  Thanks for the reminder...I've been meaning to take it up again.  Stick with Brad Yates if it works for you, but if you're curious, here's his youtube channel:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOVY8R3PIBUfd5caS3lnMeQ

Thank you Unicorn, you've been a great support on this journey.  Keeping the balance isn't always easy and your encouragement is golden, thank you. 

I like Robert Smith too!  I do look at his videos from time to time alongside my beloved Brad.  Thank you! 

J x

     Thread Starter

12/11/2017 3:45 pm  #24


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

luvvthings wrote:

Wow, your post is really inspirational to me, mostly because I am in the exact same situation.
My ex left me for someone else almost a year ago and has not spoken to me since.

Although I diligently used the technique, I was met with even more heartbreak and he basically pushed his relationship in my face on social media last month. Some people on this forum are telling me that sometimes it's just "by meant to be".... but I don't believe that.

When you let go, did you stop thinking of him altogether?

Hello!

I am glad my post resonated with you, it has been helpful for me to write out and share what has been going on.  I think the scenario we are in is pretty common.  To answer your question, I didn't stop thinking about him, no.  However, the way I thought about him changed.  I stopped making him my "everything", and I stopped viewing what had happened as the most important thing and making it central to my life.  I didn't realise at the time what a powerful move this was, I was just tired of feeling out of control and helpless. I got angry and wanted to take my power back. 
  
 Keep yourself busy and fill up your time to be centred around you.  I didn't forget about him as I started to centre my energy but the yearning feeling began to dissipate, the incessant personal questioning of the "hows" lessened and I felt less of a need to do any technique out of desperation to get him back. You choose how much of his social media to look at.   However, whilst you are in a place of need to control,  or desperation - like you are now -  you will not be able to help yourself, and cause yourself more pain.   It is not a case of forgetting him - you can't you are human - it's more a case of re-framing his place in your life even though you don't see him....for now. The moment I changed his ranking in my affections and placed my focus elsewhere he came back.  Trust me I was blocked on everything, he had a girlfriend he was GONE. 

As amazed as I am by the turn of events in my life, today (because I am tired) I can feel myself falling into old thinking habits of  wanting to make something happen or wondering "how".  I want to talk to him and actually if I wanted to I could.   However, awareness is key and I am now more sensitive to my own energy.    If I  reached out he would reply but I would be coming from a place of lack - energetically he would sense that and so would I. Lo and behold the universe would reflect my vibration (and his) and I would be back to square one.   We can all feel when we are doing something because it's light or fun or because we want something so badly.  That wanting something so badly is us coming from a place of lack, so don't romanticise it, like I used to. Lol!   Doing any kind of technique or reaching out from this place never got me what I wanted which is why, maybe, even though you were doing PW everyday nothing happened and you were faced with more of what you didn't want to see  - him on social media.

So rather than contact him or wonder how, I am going to have a hot shower, get into clean sheets and read a book.  When I feel better and have centred myself again, I will re-visit the situation.  So, I won't forget about him but I will distract myself (in a very loving way) until I can look at the situation again from a different perspective, from that place, I  could do PW or BWD sending loving energy rather than desperate vibes

I will say, I never in a million years thought we would have met again the way we did or to have conversation again. If it happened to me, it can happen to you, but you must change your mindset not about him but about the situation. Don't listen to anyone else,  or place your energy on anyone else who happens to be in his life for now   You can do it, but you have to make yourself the Queen  of your own world and frame him in your mind as someone lucky to have you. That will take some time, but for now, just make it about you.  

Hope this helps a little. 

J x
 

     Thread Starter

12/12/2017 5:34 pm  #25


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Thanks for that reply! I really need it right now...

I'm so happy for you and I hope that I will have the same success! I'll follow your advice 😍

12/13/2017 11:49 am  #26


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Jaq123 I love your attitude and your advice to others in your situation so I am pinning this topic.  I'm so happy for you!  xoxoxoxoxo

12/14/2017 1:49 pm  #27


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Awww! I am so glad that my post has helped people.  I feel honoured to be pinned!  Thank you.

I took Unicorns' advice and watched a YouTube clip with Agnes and a lady she worked with called Jaclyn.  It really compliments Lanie's teachings from a letting go perspective.  It is a true success story because she's back with her guy in the way that she wanted, whereas I'm still on my journey.  What it did though, was reinforce that this is the right track and these teachings really do work.  It really does start with us and from that place we can make anything happen, truly anything. 

Feeling positive and grateful to have found this community.  Can't wait to come back and post news of my vision relationship manifesting to you all. In the meantime, self love and inner work is my focus. Thank you for all of your support, it means a lot. 

J xxx

     Thread Starter

12/14/2017 2:06 pm  #28


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

Unicorn, I know we've discussed this, but you are DEFINITELY on the right track.  I love  those signs that just confirm where we are on the path. You didn't look for a sign, it came to you.  No need to think of the "hows", just the knowing. All we need to remember that when it comes to the odd wobble.Thank you xx

     Thread Starter

12/17/2017 11:02 am  #29


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

You are more than welcome darling!  It's amazing how this works and those little winks from the universe keep us forward thinking and on the right path.  Are they related to your own development or indicators of him? 

Last night  I had a little wobble and was about to go down the rabbit hole of "hows".  I felt lonely and missed him.  Where I would have gone into a funk, instead  I went through about 7 tapping videos even when I didn't want to.  I started off crying with lots of resistance through a few, and by the end  of the last I was feeling empowered again.The incessant thinking had stopped.   I honestly think these feelings come up to allow us to come face to face with them and make the decision not to make them part of our new reality.  They are reminder we are focusing in the WRONG direction.   It's about learning to trust the process, and whilst intellectually I know, there are occassions (like last night) when I just feel it is impossible - it can come from nowhere!   Last night I wanted to see the changes RIGHT NOW!!! lol!  It's strange at those times, it's difficult to see how far we have come.  Where I am now would have been a miracle 12 months ago.  

I remember listening to an Abraham Hicks recording and she  said something like "you all think show me the manifestation and then I'll believe, but the way it works is you need to believe and then you see the manifestation" Easy to remember when you're feeling calm, but not when you're in a funk.   

 Anyway, back to last night, within 10 minutes of calming myself down and releasing resistance,  I had a text message from a friend who lives in apartment above asking whether I wanted to come over for wine with a few of her friends. That was the lonliness part sorted, a very very quick manifestation once I let go.    I went and had a great time, met some new people and laughed a lot.  Whilst I was there, I had an inspired thought to drop him a text (I've learned to decipher between inspired action and acting out of desperation) so I did, which lead to an hour long telephone conversation with him later that  evening.  Another very quick manifestation! It was a great conversation and I know what we have is real.  We are still treading very carefully with each other.  Neither of us want to be where we were so it's friendly but still intimate.  I also reminded myself that while it is light when we speak to each other, the way I actually feel in private is very different. Who's to say he isn't the same? We'll soon find out. 

I believe that all of the above came from letting go, I let go via the tapping vids but I think you can let go anyway you choose as long as your mindset is changed and you get out of the bloody way!  If I had have acted from the place of lonliness I doubt very much I would have gone anywhere last night.  I would have stayed at home alone because that is what I was vibrating.   Additionally , had I have text him from a place of doubt and fear, I do not think a phone call would have happened at all, because I would have been vibrating doubt and fear regardless of what was said in a message.  Me and the boy have arranged to get together after Christmas (I am away for Christmas), which will be a wonderful thing, but I'm not getting excited or overthinking it.  It's the next logical step and I am letting go again.  I have no desire to contact him  today or tell anyone (in my real life lol) about this, like you I'm just waiting to see what comes next  

I must say, now I have spoken to him it's much easier to go back to trust again.  Much harder when there has been no contact, however, keeping the faith is the most important thing.  I am spending my time and energy getting ready for when he is back in my life.  Who do I want to be, and I need to redecorate lol!  I'm getting on with creating the best me instead of bothering the universe with continually asking when.  Trusting and letting go is EVERYTHING! 

Thanks for letting me vent everyone, I find writing this out really helps me keep context on the situation and while the doubts come up - even as I write this - it's much easier to let them float away.  Thank you

J xx

     Thread Starter

12/17/2017 3:47 pm  #30


Re: It worked.,. but only when I truly let go

I really love what she said. Thank you for sharing.

unicornsnrainbows wrote:

I just saw this comment from 'happygirl97' on veronica's forum.  She is saying almost the same thing:

"Well here is my honest truth:
When there was a break up with the specific person I wanted 8 months ago, I started dating for fun.
I had a lot of free time ( it was the time between my a level and the start of my studies at university).
So I actually signed up at a dating app and distracted myself here and there. Nothing sexual, just talking and doing fun adventures with new guys. One of them, was really interesting and very slowly I started to fall for him and that is when I was letting go of the death grip to get my specific person. That was when he wanted me back.
It is not about dating other guys, it is about letting go of desperation and longing and the mental attitude " I ONLY WANT HIM". It is about feeling good about yourself, it is about freeing yourself.
you dont neccessarily have to date other guys you can also do other things that make you feel good.

But its true, I hear from a lot of people who dont believe in LOA, that their ex came back when they have moved on. yes, it happens because there is no desperation and longing anymore. Because when you are in the state of longing and desperation you will get MORE of the situations where you have to miss and long for your specific person, in other words he will stay away until you change your state.
If you are in " I am loved I feel WANTEDf" you are a vibrational match to attracting him back.
Hope that helps http://cdn.boardhost.com/emoticons/happy.gif
"

I hope she doesn't mind that I repost her comment here!

 

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