Ladies and gentlemen,

I need assistance shifting my perspective. In my soul-mind I know how to approach it, in my analytical I am not able to. I would love some direct feedback to read and make sure I can assuage my soul-mind and remind it that it's right.

I am dating a new person (2.5 months). We clicked right away and we were vibing high. I haven't been this excited about anyone in a very long time (close to a decade). Things have been moving forward with a lot of excitement, but enough care not to skip the "getting to know each other" phase before declaring undying love. Met his friends and some family members and it's going better than smoothly. We're both excited about each other and what we could be together in the long run. We're both in our early 30s and looking for the right life partner. So far we're both smitten, but also spending a lot of time apart due to his travels (work). When in town we see each other at least every other day (at least!) and while he's gone he texts me every day - total sweetie! In fact, he corresponds to all of my dreams and fantasies of a man. After my most recent breakup I did was I should have always done - thought about the qualities of the perfect man and allow myself to believe that I deserve the perfect man (my version of the perfect man). and BAM the universe delivered 

The situation: he mentioned wanting to do a vacation together. Albeit hesitant at first I am SUPER excited because I have always wanted to date someone who wants to and can travel. But 2 months in and planning travels so soon? FUCK IT - yeah, I am in. I had an almost manifestation when we saw a super cheap trip to Spain, but we hasn't really talked days nor did we... it just didn't feel right. But I kept thinking that Italy might be a bit nicer and hoped that the universe would manifest cheap flights to Italy. I was thinking about that for maybe 2 or so weeks and BAM cheap ass flights to Italy (I mean 50% off!!! from the US). But he's asleep because he's traveling in Asia and we haven't addressed the vacation in about 2 weeks since he's left. So instead of letting this opportunity slip through, I booked us flights.... just in case! I text him to let him know that I got us these flights but that I have 24 hours to cancel.  I also knew that the next 48 hours would be the most stressful and busiest 48 hours of his work trip - perfect storm.  So we text very little today and he tells me he hasn't had a moment of time and he apologizes for not responding, which is fine since I was in meetings all day and I knew his schedule. We don't get to communicate and talk about the tickets until almost midnight his time, which freaked me out. He worked for almost 20 hours that day (I worked for his before and remember the crazy work hours) and he admitsthat he's barely able to switch his mind to vacation planning since he has to wake up in 5 hours for another long day of work. He says on the fence, but also excited, knows we mentioned a trip to Europe together, but it's hard to decide.... great. This  entire time I tell him "I will just cancel. I'd rather have a discussion when you're not tired and can focus on this instead of making a rash decision" but he assures me "life is tough and you have to make decisions" he decides FUCK IT let's keep the tickets. Then he goes "what the worst thing that could happen?" and I said we'd just lose some money. & he goes, exactly - let's do it, these tickets are a great price and he's excited. Then he went and passed out.

The soul-mind and analytical-mind battle: I wanted a trip to southern Europe (Spain or Italy) all year, kind of like a birthday present. This was before he even entered the picture. I kept talking about this trip to friends and when he came into the picture and mentioned vacationing together, going to Europe together I thought... PERFECT. Now I know the universe delivers but the "when and how" are not up to me to decide. The how was because I made it happen and he agreed (not my ideal scenario as I'd liked for him to plan this and show his commitment to this idea and us). The when was not perfect, since he was exhausted and completely fried from a long day before he needed to decide whether yes or no. But in the end it was a YES. Now my analytical mind is telling me the situation isn't perfect, there is resistance on his side, he didn't seem that excited. My soul-mind knows it's because he was tired, but my analytical mind then says that there is so much pressure on him now, that I am making him do all these things and committing him to so many events while he's been gone for most of the relationship and barely knows me. My soul-mind, though, knows that this is the man of my dreams and my future life partner (& when I say I never felt this way, I mean I never felt this way!). So now I am thinking of doing PW to make sure he remains crazy about me, that I take a few steps back from the relationship and focus on my workout routine, baking bread, taking online classes and doing my job while I no longer "bother" him with invites and commitments to events/things. But I feel this isn't right... can/should I use PW to keep him excited about me? Or should I just have faith that the universe is giving me everything I have ever wanted and I am just creating resistance because I cannot believe I am this blessed? Is this real life? Can I really be this blessed? Must something go wrong?

I need a reality check - I need someone to remind me which voice is more correct (although I know which one it is). A little help from encouraging friends who have gone through these struggles would be ideal.


p.s. i realized a few weeks back that my biggest issue is that i don't feel like i deserve everything i want. that if it's easy it's not real, that life is a struggle etc. it's a poisonous mindset inherited from my father. i have started to train and re-wire myself, but please remind me!!!

 

Last edited by clearglasses (9/27/2016 7:42 pm)