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9/20/2016 5:13 pm  #1


Sweet messages (PW!) and feeling better - a success, by all means.

Hi everyone,

I previously posted a rather confusing post, because I was confused. I remained confused on and off, unable to keep my energy centered around myself, unable to appreciate the good I have right now (always wanting more), and unable to focus on the rest of my life.

TL; DR: multiple successes; new amazing man; even sweeter messages after PW; vibing high by focusing on my self and the inherent beauty of my soul/self.

Quick background: first came upon this forum trying to get an ex back (although deep down I knew we were so not meant to be, I really just thought we could make it work). 2 months post break up I finally just let go and didn't care. It came relatively suddenly, but I felt great. I thought - "cool if he maybe comes back but regardless I am loving life, my high vibes, my excitement, my friends, my apartment, my new job etc." I also had released the intention of "getting back with him, or finding someone better." I was not looking for someone new right away. I do not jump from one relationship into the next, I just never do that (I do like to jump into sexy flings fully aware of what they are hehe). So what happens? Within days I meet someone new and BAM we hit it off. A chemistry and excitement I hadn't felt in a really long time (almost a decade), a sort of "coming home" and "destiny" feeling. I am, however, generally a careful person and prefer to observe and keep calm until I know the person, until I trust the person (based on time spent together), etc. So that high has mainly worn off, now I am observing and making sure we're good for each other - for realz. He's been nothing short of amazing, always texting me first, first few dates were amazing, the conversations lovely, super affectionate, fabulous sex, spending time with me, introducing me to all his friends and some family within 2 weeks, etc. While this may seem extremely hasty reading, it never felt more natural. No confessions of love, just that he's very excited about me, about us, etc. He's been gone for the majority of the time we've been dating (traveling for work mainly) but has been exceptionally good about keeping in touch, texting me every day, normal and sweet messages, and 95% of the time he texts me first. But suddenly the euphoria faded and the ever so known issues came up again: WHAT IFS, and I mean the negative kind. What if this is too good to be true, what if I am just a rebound (he too just came out of a relationship), what if this doesn't work out, maybe I should not get my hopes up, maybe he doesn't actually like me.... and so on and so fort.

So while I have been struggling the past 2 weeks, again, I finally felt a break-through. I really just started writing out all my worries and I mean all my worries, down to the silly embarrassing hard to admit ones. I would then write things that I did like about my life, about myself, about my new beau. That helped. Then I even decided to do things that are very unlike me, like write out a list of people I'd invite to my wedding (I seriously never previously thought seriously about my wedding) and felt excited. 

Then I started to do PW every night (3 nights in a row so far). I read the book and bought the meditation back in June/July and used it once or twice on an ex I wanted back (lol good riddance) and while I felt connected, I felt strange doing this. Like faking a reality, big time. However, I decided to approach it the way Lanie and you all intend to - just do it because it's fun, makes you feel good, and makes you feel connected to him. And so I did. To be fair, I also changed my lifestyle. Focused on yoga intensely, quit smoking cigs, focused on the inherent awesomeness in me (I don't need to prove to anyone how smart, kind, dedicated, witty etc. I am. I just need to know my entire being is WONDERFUL which is why so many people like me, why it's easy for me to make friends, why people smile at me when I am walking). That last bit was crucial and still is crucial - forget all the external ways of feeling validated, everyone is valid as long as they remember the beauty and kindness within them and act with kindness and beauty.  And I decided to stop talking about him. Focus off him, focus on me (detachment?).

So while his texts have remained constant, I decided to raise the ante by using PW. Next thing I know he texts me super early in the morning multiple texts (unusual for him), a few back and forth throughout the day (normal), and after my last text I get another saying something like "thinking of you". Obviously he'd been thinking of me, since we'd just texted a few minutes before, but he sent me that specific text just to make sure I know that he's thinking of me in that fond, new dating, new lady, kind of way.  OVER THE MOON! My vibe was especially high bc I had just come out of a great yoga class, I felt wonderful about my day, the class, these new vitamins I am taking, the fact that I was able to focus on myself.... I was just vibing high. Ahhh... when you vibe high, your thoughts shift to positive mode and life just seems more beautiful. Plus with the PW - yeah, he better be thinking about me!! Focusing attention off him and onto me, and I mean truly dedicating my life to me (with plenty of room for "us" and definitely still thinking of him, but letting the though pass and not obsessively cling to it)... I have faith that the process is under way, that this man was brought into my life right at that time for a reason, that things are developing just as they should and are wonderful as they are, and that I am as important as he is, in fact I am the protagonist of my own life and we want to make a movie together where we are both protagonists but to do that I need to keep working on me to remain awesome.

You don't enter into the vortex and stay there passively. You need to take care of yourself and what makes you happy in order to stay there.

p.s. oh and ex bf did get back in touch after pretty much 4 months NC for something random an petty. but honestly, I don't care and I not even trying to entertain anything more than polite interactions. Always keeping it short.

9/21/2016 9:39 pm  #2


Re: Sweet messages (PW!) and feeling better - a success, by all means.

Thank you for your great story!! Love this! 

9/27/2016 6:37 am  #3


Re: Sweet messages (PW!) and feeling better - a success, by all means.

This is wonderful. Thanks a lot. Mine is similar situation as yours so it's very helpful 😊.

10/09/2016 3:28 pm  #4


Re: Sweet messages (PW!) and feeling better - a success, by all means.

Awesome, awesome post! That line about staying in the vortex 👏🏾 I'm realizing more and more how important it is to put in effort consistently. So wonderful how you focused on yourself, yes girl! I know things will continue to get better for you ❤️

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