wanderlusting wrote:

This is my issue with the NC rule. I know a lot of people and "gurus" suggest that there is a minimum 30 day NC period that you are supposed to go through before you make an attempt to reach out. While I am currently going through NC right now, I get a little unsure on how to proceed after the 30 days. One of the reasons he told me that we broke up, was because he didn't want to focus on a relationship and that he just wanted space and time to focus on himself only, nothing else. Well, knowing this is a guy we are talking to, that could be anything from 1 week to years down the road. So my concern is, what if I contact him before he is "ready" to focus on outside things. Wouldn't that push him further away because it would be like I am not respecting his decision and his wishes? So a part of me wants to wait until he makes the first contact but then again, I really don't feel like waiting around months and years for that to happen. 

The thing about the NC rule is that it musn't feel as waiting. The 30 days NC is not about just sitting around and wait until the 30 days are over (to say it a bit bold like this). The most important thing about NC is that you use the time to focus on yourself and heal yourself. Make yourself feel good, enjoy spending time with family/friends, pick up some old or new hobbies, go out, meet new people.. Who are you without your partner? Find back that spark in you

I think the "gurus" set a 30 day range because it takes approx 21 days to make a habit. I would advice to only contact him through PW. Let him initiate the conversation. I manifested contact multiple times, but I let my insecurities in and so the contact fade away..

Before I got into LOA I used the " 30 day rule", after this I contacted him with a 'fishing/story telling' text like : " You never guess where I am going to do my internship!" .. From that moment on we had such nice conversations/contact on and off for a few weeks (however I didn't know he was starting to see some rebound girl). But even when he and his temporary girl made it official, he kept contacting me (when they were together for 6+ months he texted how he'd dreamt about being in a relationship with me, complimanting me on my looks and even drunk dialing me at night).. So I just know, that even without contact and a strange "reality" echoing from my previous thoughts, he still thinks about me. I got into LOA a few weeks after those text and I use it frequently to contact him and visualize my desired outcome. I know now that after those 30 days when I contacted him, we were both not in the place to give our relationship a shot again. We both first needed to grow in life. And when we are both ready, the universe will manifest my desire you just have to believe!