A brief update for you ladies...

Ever since this stuff went down back in August, things have been getting increasingly better. He's wanting to spend time together more often and we just purchased plane tickets to take his young son to Seattle for the winter holidays to see his family together. He's overall more affectionate physically and verbally, our sex life (which was never lacking except for the month I was recovering from having surgery) has gotten straight-up bonkers... For real, this past weekend, I was surprised we didn't hurt ourselves.

He suffered another loss last week when his boss (who was like a second mother to him) passed away after a long difficult illness. This time, instead of pulling away like he did when he was coping with two deaths around the time we almost broke up, he came to me willingly for comfort and support. He poured his heart out, let himself be vulnerable, and let himself cry in my arms when he needed to. He actually seems grateful to have me here with him while he gets through the tough stuff. The day I found out she passed, I informed him that I was going to come over and make dinner while he took care of his kid so he wouldn't have to worry about it and could get some rest. We had to coordinate timing so he could let me into the house and remarked "You know, I really should just get you a key..."

To boot, yesterday was our one year dating anniversary. Yes, the goth chick's anniversary is on Halloween; our first date was at his Halloween party last year. He had gotten me a self-defense pen previously because he has been a self-defense instructor for years. We live in Brooklyn and I often have to walk around the neighborhood at night, so he wanted me to be a bit safer. Not exactly flowers and chocolate, but still romantic in its own way and I appreciated the gift. But when I went over to his place last night, he went "... so I realized that a tactical pen is not the most romantic gift, so I got you this after work today. Happy anniversary, honey." He handed me a small box with a beautiful handcrafted silver ring inside. 

We had a really nice night making a tasty dinner together, watching horror movies with his roommates, and giving out candy to trick-or-treaters. Because my hair is purple and I tend to dress a bit eccentrically, one kid assumed I was in costume and asked me who I was supposed to be. ManFriend chimed in with "She's the prettiest lady in the world, that's who!'

Ugh. My heart. 

Seriously, ladies. Keep it up and have faith. Things CAN change.

Last edited by BellaLupa (11/01/2016 9:15 am)

That is so freaking awesome. I am so happy for you and you're an inspiration to encourage me to get my shit together for ME, and not to manifest a person or relationship. You rock.