LANIE STEVENS Books & Meditations -- http://laniestevens.com

You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



12/25/2016 10:35 am  #1


An Update: How to Amend this Situation?

posting here again  

Well ... he was going to come for Christmas to see my family and then go on a trip together for NYE. But when we skype the other day he was messaging another woman right in front of me on a screenshare. I reacted very badly and told him the trip is cancelled. Since then he has not been talking to me. 

He said that the messages were to a "friend" in Brazil and she means nothing, but I saw what he wrote to her. And then he asked if we can go on the trip as "good friends". 

i declined. 

Now Im feeling bad because he is alone on Christmas Day, and we have not reconciled. I would like to see him while he is in Europe at least to make amends,,, still doing PW on this.  help


Feel It Real. 

12/25/2016 6:24 pm  #2


Re: An Update: How to Amend this Situation?

Hi sweetie, in the first place i dont think he is genuine with you. So you shouldnt feel bad, he needs to know where you stand and what you wont tolerate. Id suggest keep up the PW  but let him come to you, dont force an encounter and try to apologize first. Thats his responsibility.


All advice given is intended in the best interest of whomever I may be replying to & my opinions may not necessarily reflect those of the wider community on the forum.

 

12/25/2016 6:41 pm  #3


Re: An Update: How to Amend this Situation?

Thank you so much. I just feel bad because I left him to do the trip on his own and he is alone for Christmas. 

Maybe I over reacted, but despite him saying he loves me and wants to be with me, I just don't think he is ready for commitment. 

I told him Im ready to share my life with a man now and not have another guy friend ,,, 

anyway he is only in Europe for next 2 weeks so I hope he reaches out and we manage to see each other at least while he is here. will continue with PW for now and try to move on


Feel It Real. 
     Thread Starter

12/26/2016 4:39 pm  #4


Re: An Update: How to Amend this Situation?

sarahjayne wrote:

Thank you so much. I just feel bad because I left him to do the trip on his own and he is alone for Christmas. 

Maybe I over reacted, but despite him saying he loves me and wants to be with me, I just don't think he is ready for commitment. 

I told him Im ready to share my life with a man now and not have another guy friend ,,, 

anyway he is only in Europe for next 2 weeks so I hope he reaches out and we manage to see each other at least while he is here. will continue with PW for now and try to move on

Whilst you are concerning yourself with his feelings and trying to show him love, who is filling you with love.

Stop focusing on him. If he isn't ready he isn't ready.

Focus on yourself. Focus on filling yourself with love and confidence.

12/26/2016 5:48 pm  #5


Re: An Update: How to Amend this Situation?

You are right. I am such a kind hearted person that I am thinking more about him and the fact that I changed my mind at the last minute about our trip because of his bad behaviour, than I am about me and what I want. I do want to see him again of course, but when he is ready for a meaningful relationship and not where I am part of a harem of women "friends." 


Feel It Real. 
     Thread Starter

12/27/2016 8:45 am  #6


Re: An Update: How to Amend this Situation?

Have you seen the scene in Best Friends Wedding, where she is chasing him,chasing his bride. And her friend says to her "he is chasing her you are chasing him who is chasing you?"

I always remember that scene and use it every so often to remind myself that I don't need to chase anyone. When you are ready to be chased you will be chased. It's that simple.

12/27/2016 5:07 pm  #7


Re: An Update: How to Amend this Situation?

Thank you for that reminder 

I am not looking at any of his social media.

I do really love this man, I know that he will come back after this falling out. I just keep visualising him saying that he has changed his ways and is ready to share his life with me and shows it. 


Feel It Real. 
     Thread Starter

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum


All guests are welcome but be sure to "REGISTER" so you can post your comments.