You're doing amazing! If I'd had that attitude from the start I probably wouldn't have taken so long to make things happen. Keep going the way you're going and it shouldn't be long before he's back. I did PW on my sister's ex last night because they broke up two weeks ago and she's miserable and a non believer, well...he texted her today wanting to talk!

BellaLupa, you rock girl!
Keep up the good work, and keep us updated.

BellaLupa wrote:

He ended up making arrangements with my roommate to come by after 7 last night to drop my stuff off. I hadn't gone out for the night yet, so I went into my room before he came to sit with the lights off and did CtC and Powerful You visualizations using Lanie's mp3s with my headphones on so that he would think I was not home. I need to spend time on me and getting good before the next time I see him.

He tried to go to my room to put my stuff in there, but my roommate stopped him and said "I'm not comfortable with letting you into her room when she's not here. Just leave it on the couch, please." He apparently looked totally confused and shocked, as if it was sinking in that he's no longer in a position to enter my bedroom without my permission. She said he seemed unusually stoic and somber and left quickly.

I saw one of his roommates (who is a good friend of mine) for drinks awhile after he left, and the roommate was surprised at how centered and together I seemed.

He said that my love has been pretty solemn and seemed sad the last few days and is spending a lot of time alone. He, like me, believes very much that my love and I are inevitably going to come back together after we've taken some time to work on ourselves, focus on addressing our respective issues, and bettering things in our own lives so we can have the relationship we're meant to. Once he's a little more stable in his life, he's "going to recognize that (you) were a huge stabilizing strengthening factor in his life that made it so much better".

There are still plenty of things in his room and house that I gave him or are connected to memories we have together. I won't be at the party at his house this weekend and he's gonna be feeling that absence something fierce. It's only a matter of time.

In the meantime, I am taking a lot of time for myself and doing my best to enjoy it. Yes, I'm doing my visualizations on him, but also taking time to do the empowering ones Lanie sells to help us feel better about OURSELVES. I'm reaching out to friends more to make plans, pampering myself, and even had an unusually human and nice heart-to-heart with my usually-bitch-monster boss on the phone the other day.

I can do this. I'm doing it. 
 

You can do whatever you want, but I think it's a bad move to hang out with his roommate(s) regardless of whether
they are your friends too or not.  You can't have him so you are hanging out with them instead.  He knows you are
hanging out with his roommate(s) and they are probably telling him everything you talked about.  Again, it seems
desperate and clingy.  What is the point of that?  I don't think it is conducive to getting him back, but that's just
my opinion.
 

BellaLupa wrote:

I have always been close friends with his roommates and he's the one who invited me out because we routinely do meet up at the bar from time to time. I didn't tell the roommate much of what I'm thinking or feeling and he didn't pry; roommate did not tell my love that we were meeting up as "it's none of his business" and he has always been an extremely discrete person who values my privacy. He merely offered the info to me re: my love and how he's been doing. I didn't really offer any comment; just took note of the information. We mostly talked about other things.

I totally get where you're coming from and I'm definitely spending time with other friends too. However, my love knows that his roommates are some of my dearest buddies and that I would be spending time with them sometimes away from their home. I'm being smart, don't worry.

So the ex's roommate tells you all about your ex but he's not going to tell the ex what you are doing?  
You don't really believe that, do you?  Do yourself a giant favor - the next time this roommate invites
you decline and hang out with your other friends instead.  I am only trying to help you.  But again,
you can do whatever you want.
 

BellaLupa wrote:

Like I said, I appreciate your opinion and words of caution,

Given that I did not ask him anything about how my love is doing or bring him up/continue discussion about him, I can't imagine that there's much his roommate CAN tell him, other than the fact that I was doing well. I can't imagine how that would hurt.

And Confucius said "The eye cannot see its own lashes."  

I understand that you cannot imagine what you are doing wrong in this situation, which is why I am pointing these
things out to you.  You continue being desperate and it is not going to bring back your ex - men do not want a
woman with a bunch of drama, desperation, anxiety, fearfulness, clinginess, etc.  They just don't.  And they don't
want you (or whoever) staying in contact with their mom, friends, sister, co-workers, neighbors, etc. after they
have broken it off with you.  You can do PW all day long but unless you do the rest of Lanie's teachings, it is not
going to work.

I don't know much about NC because I am not dealing with an ex, but you probably need to get into NC mode.
That means not being in contact with him and/or his circle of people.  The next time his friend invites you to
whatever - be classy and decline.

Anyway Bella, I hope that things work out for you.