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@smalmo,
I think you should keep going with the technique if that's who you really want...
But what stood out for me, is that in one of your posts (#15) you state, "this matters more than anything else in my life right now"
This is not to 'attack' you because I'm sure most of us have been there and can agree that it's that kind of desperation that we have to get rid of.
Of course you love him, of course he's important to you
otherwise you wouldn't be here. Just make sure you assess yourself as you're manifesting. Don't hinder any progress that you're making due to "needing" him versus wanting him. 💛
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@Golden you are so right..I am so desperate at the moment that I have this sinking feeling even when i am trying to meditate..first thing i do when i wake up is to check my phone to see if he has texted, and i keep checking my phone all day to see if he is online and may be he will text me..i don't know how to get oout of this feeling..i dont know how to feel relaxed when i do the meditation as i am constantly worried what if he doesnt come back at all
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Don't worry , you aren't alone here.
I can't tell you step-by-step what helped me because there's been so many ups and downs. Just work on yourself as well and realize that this is also about you. (Honestly it feels like it's mostly about us..and this 'singleness' gives us time to address our faults. Are we too dependent on a guy (or woman) for our happiness? Is it loneliness, is it insecurity? Where does this desperation come from? What do we need to work on?)
Try to not rely on his attention, it's fine if he hasn't texted or called yet, you're talking to him daily through the technique.
If you're feeling down, don't do the technique! It's fine.
It should be done because you feel good, & you should feel even better after. Not looking for signs, but moving on to the next thing, enjoying life. 💛
((There's also a "doubts" thread that has been started. It'll help you see that none of us are perfect at this.
Also take a look at some of threads on letting go. And...there's a self-love thread in the general discussion section.💛 ))