I understand what you're saying and agree. I may have worded it wrong, I meant that I am more detached from the outcome with my ex.  I needed this confidence booster more than I realized after being left for another woman, even if our long distance relationship was stagnant. I know we are going to be together and this is all part of me finding myself again.

I am a fairly self-sufficient person, which was part of my problem with my guy. But at some point in the past few years I lost touch with my sexuality in a huge way. This led to so many self-esteem issues that  I had been working prior to my breakup by myself.  He never knew about any of this or my issues, other than having issues being vulnerable. Being left for another woman chipped away at what little footing I had gained. While it's nice and fun to feel desirable and flirty, I really didn't worry before if men found me attractive and still don't, so it's not even just the attention factor. I have never depended on a man for me to feel self-worth. I know a lot of my issues coming up are due to my upbringing so I have been working through that. Nothing like dealing with 20 year old repressed memories.... This fling has helped me reconnect with my sexuality and embrace it. It's part of me becoming whole again.