Well Cos he told me he will never ask me to get back into the relationship!! So what's the point of replying back ? He said it while v broke up that he would never ask me to get back Into the relationship

Last edited by I am queen (3/01/2017 12:27 pm)

I agree with the other ladies--you went NC like Lanie recommends, and he reached out to you. I don't think Lanie means for you to *stay* NC if the guy actually contacts you. It sounds like he genuinely wants to reestablish contact with you, even if you don't know why at the moment.

So reply to this message, keep it simple and friendly.

Make sure you stay calm!!! My boy reached out to me a few weeks ago after 4 months of NC and I was freaking out like you. I undid all of my good work of empowerment and feeling the new relationship real by harping back to the past.  PW and BWD works but you can't forget it about it when they make contact....like  I did.  We ended up rowing, I lost my power and he blocked me again.  I'm back to square one and take full responsibility.  

I would suggest, you calm down and remember who you are now and what relationship you are reaching for.  When you are in that place then reply.  What would the ideal version of you in the ideal version of your relationship reply?  meditate on that and then go for it.

Trust me, you will be so annoyed with yourself if you don't get the result you want because you are coming from a freaked out place. 

I am queen wrote:

Hey LANIE and all my wonderful sisters on the forum !! So it's been close to 4 plus months me and my guy have broken up !! But he's been calling me to wish for New Years for my niece and nephew (who stay with me)on their birthdays even though I had blocked his number he called from his family persons cell to wish them on my phone and apart from that he's sent me a request on Fb and instagram to reconnect which offourse I did not accept as I thought one should follow NC to the T !! Now yesterday he sent me a mail saying he misses me a lot ! And instead of referring to me with my first name he referred to me with my love pet name that he used,to call me all the time !!? I was annoyed cos if the mail was read by a stranger,to them it would look like these 4months of break up never happened and maybe this boyfriend has written a mail telling his girl how much he misses her cos she's gone travelling somewhere or something on those lines !! Example : he said sweetheart (pet name) I am missing u so much !! Hope ur fine etc etc.isnt a break up meant to be a complete break up ? Why would one call a love name to tell their so called ex they are missing them ? . Also he has requested to see my nephew who's about 2 years old his video(he used to be very attached to him and would play with him when he visited my house) !! Infact the email was an excuse for him wanting to see his video as he's missin him a lot !! Should I reply back to his mail? Ignore it some more ? Or send him my nephews video ? If yes what should my reply to him be like ??
THANKS A TONNE FOR THE HELP SISTERS !! 😘😘💐❤
  

  
  
This is what you've been working for, not to be in NC forever.  Lanie covers NC in her new book
BU2MU and you might want to brush up on that.  I would see if he wants to meet up somewhere
neutral, and if he apologizes and he comes correct then this would be the time to start working
towards getting back together.  Definitely don't become intimate with him if he just wants a quick
roll in the hay or if he's just checking to see if you are available for him whenever he wants you.  
Make sure that things are on your terms, that he's going to conduct himself accordingly and
play it by ear.  And if he doesn't act right, you can always NC him until he does.