I'm trying not to beat myself up but on an impulse (and after being very frustrated for months) I called out my POI on how he often disappears on me in our communication last night. I find it particularly frustrating because he often seems to disappear right after we have a long texting conversation or we sext a little and talks a lot about how much he likes me and wants to be with me (and is general very complimentary). I've talked about my situation a few times. We've never been in a relationship, we were friends for a few months and kissed for the first time almost a year ago. I felt an instant connection with him but I was just getting out of a relationship and also sadly moved across the country a few weeks after we first kissed. Since then we've gotten closer little by little and have seen each other usually every 2 or 3 months and always have these intense makeout sessions. I think his fear of a relationship and a sexual issue he has (which I believe is some sort of performing anxiety) are the main things that are holding us back from being an official couple.  I definitely think he purposely is hot and cold with communication to control his feelings for me.

So last night after not getting a response from him from two little texts I sent and him making a joke this past week about me not seeming interested after I didn't respond to his texts after a few hours, I sent him a text last night calling him out. It was short and I tried to keep it light. I basically said sometimes it feels like he mini ghosts me. He responded today that he texts with me more than most people and we talk all the time. I basically responded that I know we text often and he texts me a lot but there's also times where he doesn't respond to my texts for days and disappears. He responded a very curt text, making it seem like he's annoyed. I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I'm trying not to beat myself up for speaking up, I've been frustrated about this for so long. I've had periods where I've done NC but I've had trouble sticking with that and it's also felt weird for my situation given that we've still been getting to know each other the last few months. Plus we have gotten closer, despite his hot and cold ways.

Sorry this is so long. I mainly wanted to see if anyone has ended up saying similar things in their situations? Also does anyone have suggestions for something I can do in PW to help the situation now? I'm not sure how aware he is why he's hot and cold with me, but I definitely have focused on it a little in my PW meditations. Thanks!