1 of 1- kschmeck
- Totally Masterful Contributor
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- Posts: 104
What do you think? I am confused....
Hi girls (and boys),
Yesterday I had quite a confusing situation with my POI and I really would appreciate your opinion on that... I'm trying to translate our conversation from German in English and hope it still makes sense...
So we are colleagues, we have a very close work relationship, and from the way he looks at me and the way he touches me, strokes my cheek softly etc, and from our text messages I'd say, he's into me and knows that i like h too... things are a bit complicated but I was quite sure that we are on our way to date and get together...
So Friday I was chatting with another colleague, let's call him R. And we were also talking shortly about my POI, let's call him T. (Of course no one at work knows abouty feelings for him) and R asked me jokingly if T and I had a bit of a tense relationship (tense relationship is "angespanntes Verhältnis" in german, whereas "Verhältnis" in german means also affair)
... I was surprised but maybe it was just a joke etc...
So after I had finished my work, T was still there, i gave him a call to whisk him a nice weekend and we came to talk about R. So I mentioned that R thinks we're having a tense relationship/affair... t starts laughing "oh are we having an affair?" I said I was more worried about "tense"... so he told me still laughing that's nothing he would talk about with someone else... I said well I don't hope things are tense between us... and he replied: "neither tense nor are we having an affair, or do we?" I was thunderstruck and said "well of course not, I should have noticed by now" after that we wished each other a nice weekend and that was it...
And now I'm so confused, maybe I'm just paranoid but with his words I heard "we are not having an affair and we will never have one. I'm not interested in you... etc.." I talked to a friend about it,she thinks he was just joking with the words and that he didn't mean anything, and that I'm interpreting too much and that he still likes me... but I still think if he's into me and wants to have a relationship with me and knows there's something between us he would never have said it this way...
So what do you think is going on...?! Love to hear your opinion...
- Claire_Bear
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Re: What do you think? I am confused....
I think you are way overthinking it. I do the same sometimes. I don't think he meant anything by the comment. But you mention an "affair" which in my book differs from a relationship in that affairs are between people, one of whom is already attached or married. Are you both single?
- kschmeck
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Re: What do you think? I am confused....
Thank you so much for your answer! So maybe I am overthinking... st least it gives me much comfort to see that not everyone sees this the way I did... for me ist really was like "okay, that's it, he doesn't want to be with me and he doesn't even know that I like him..."
By the way
Verhältnis can mean relationship or affair...
You can say we're having a good relationship, a work relationship etc. but it's also used as affair in terms of love affair, when it's not already a committed relationship or (like what you wrote) people are having an affair when one or both are attached with someone else...
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Thread Starter- mrstkg
- Manifesting Genius
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- Registered: 11/21/2016
- Posts: 152
Re: What do you think? I am confused....
He touches you in intimate ways. He's flirting. He's showing interest...so that's settled...the problem is that he feels you talked to someone about it. Not everyone (esp men) like people in their business esp at work. Even though R brought it up (which means T's interest in you is obvious) T now probably feels more self conscious about it for whatever reason.
But he doesn't touch your face because he just likes you as a "friend". That's an erogenous zone. At least it is for me!
Last edited by mrstkg (6/04/2017 9:55 am)
- kschmeck
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Re: What do you think? I am confused....
Hi Ladies!
I'm crushed... i just manifested one of my greatest fears... all the time i had hope that my POI really likes me because of the little things he did, like I told you, the may he looks at me, blushed when I touch him or when he touches me, strokes my cheek etc... and he really is a person known as highly correct and respected, someone who's not flirty or something... but doubts crept in, me thinking what if I'm just making that up, what if that's totally normal for him etc...and I always feared one day I would see him stroking someone else's cheeks or anything similar... and today, one of the other girls told me happily how lovely he stroke her cheek because she was bringing him a piece of her birthday cake... and the others around were like "what?!? He really did that to you" I didn't say anything about him doing this to me because I always thought he didn't care so much for everyone knowing about how close we are...so okay, I have the confirmation that this kind of flirty behavior is unusual for him but why the hell is he starting to do that to other too?!? Does it mean anything to him at all!!!
I could really need your encouragement and some advice too as how to proceed with that... of course I did PW on him letting him tell me that I'm the only one etc that he's not interested in anyone else etc and now I just got the opposite?!?! Please Help!!!
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