Claire_Bear wrote:

I'd been doing PW for about three months with a guy who I then rang up, the conversation went well, we spoke and he said he wanted us to meet.

I then started doing the love spell. In between the "break" bit he got in touch with a date, then I did the rest of the love spell (the second segment). Today he has contacted me to say that he needs to cancel because he has to go to a funeral on that day, which he said was totally unexpected and unavoidable, but could we rearrange, and he apologised profusely. I've replied appropriately, saying no problem, etc, and yes we can. We live 90 miles apart and work full-time so it has to be weekends, he can't call round with a bottle of wine on a weekday night, for example. 

I completely believe him, I am certain the email was totally genuine and I have absolutely no doubt in that regard. 

My question is how the PW and spell will have made him feel, and the "momentum" as we were supposed to meet this week and now aren't. Should I carry on with the PW? I thought fleetingly that this funeral is just an obstacle but of course, the universe doesn't get someone to die just to put an obstacle in your path! So I really don't think the funeral is relevant to anything, just one of those things that unfortunately happens. I'm sure that my intervention (spell, PW etc) won't have caused this will it? I'm curious as to what he's been thinking about me, what he will continue to think, etc. What effect it will have, I do want to carry on with it.

The other thing is that doing this has made me feel incredibly connected with him as if we are really a couple, in a relationship. I wondered what he was feeling, but of course I won't know that until I see him. Asking him on an email/phone/text isn't really appropriate.



 

Why did you ring his up in the first place? Isn't the point of pw to make him come to you? Am I missing something?
 

Wrong and misguided? How is other people giving the TRUE accounts of their results after reaching out wrong or misguided? I was apart of that subject matter and though I've never reach out personally nor am I "chastising"  anyone who did or does, I noticed too that users saying they reach out first tend to follow up with "he never called again" "I have to keep texting" and other variations of the situation not turning out well. We should be able to give each other honest feedback, I'd think it helps us to calculate our moves better. 

Oasiscalm wrote:

hellokitty wrote:

Why did you ring his up in the first place? Isn't the point of pw to make him come to you? Am I missing something?
 

If you don't have the confidence to reach out to your POI then you should not do it.

PW or any other form of RS is about soften the person and inginating feelings in the other person.

It is a tool to stack the odds in your favour. How you play the game after that is purely up to you.

I read a thread earlier where people were chastising people for reaching out to their POI, stating it wasn't a success story because they reached out first. It was a very uncomfortable read. It was so wrong and misguided.

There are no rules. Do PW and do whatever you are inspired to do.

hellokitty wrote:

 Why did you ring his up in the first place? Isn't the point of pw to make him come to you? Am I missing something? 

I think I've been asked, and I think I've answered, this before. 

The original reason for contacting this guy was because I wanted some information from him. (Yes, I fancy him as well, or I used to.).  He would not have contacted me first. It isn't that sort of situation. He isn't an ex, we haven't split, we aren't on bad terms, nobody has to go "NC" or not speak to each other or forgive anyone for anything. There is no situation between us that needs resolving. I wanted to talk to him and ask him for something so I rang him. Yes, I also fancy him and wanted to see if it would go in that direction too, so I did some PW beforehand. 

During the telephone conversation he was the one who asked me to meet. We agreed that I would then get in touch with other contact details (I was very old fashioned. I rang him at home on his landline, from my landline!)  I then started the love spell (as I said, I wanted to see what would happen). There is a break in between the two segments of the love spell, He was the one who then contacted me with a date within that break, and then the time came around to do the second half of the love spell.

users saying they reach out first tend to follow up with "he never called again" "I have to keep texting" and other variations of the situation not turning out well

So by the logic of something said in the original post (clipped above), the reason he has cancelled is because I "reached out" first? No, it is because someone in his family has died and he has to go to their funeral. I don't see why I should have sat at home waiting for him to ring me originally because it probably would not have happened! Someone had to do it, and it had to be me. It really, really did have to be me. Just because I'm a girl, I shouldn't have?

Every situation is unique and different. I can see the difference between my scenario and that of someone who has had a relationship ended. 

My original post was not to discuss the merits of making first contact, because I am 100% happy that I did that, but to discuss PW in that context and how I should go forward. 

Thanks.


 

Last edited by Claire_Bear (6/13/2017 3:22 pm)

Well, I didn't do anything. No PW or BWD (I just didn't feel like it for some reason), and I had a photo (old) of him on my dresser that I took down.

He did, though, get back to me and we are meeting later this week. 

The picture is back on my dresser now .........