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Last year I met my perfect partner. Everything was truly fantastic between us and after meeting on the first day we spent every day together and never wanted to be a part.
He had come out of a 5 year relationship and his ex-girlfriend who is a lot older then him and lives in another country. I live in London and I am his age.
When we met many of his ex's things were still in his house. After about a month of being together his ex insisted that he flew to her to collect his things. When he returned he said that the trip had confused him but that he really wanted to be with me but felt he should be honest. We then went away for a week had a fabulous time together and everything was really good between us.
One night he accused me of asking his friend what if anything was happening with his ex. I did not do that and was talking about something else. This resulted in us splitting up as he needed to get his head around his ex before he could move on. Between August and December there was a considerable amount of back and forth between us. When I started to move on it was like he had a sixth sense and he would contact me and then that would prevent me from doing what I was doing with whoever I was doing it with. Eventually, in November we started to spend more time with each other and things looked positive. Finally, in December we decided to try again. I was so pleased to be with him after months and months of waiting that I never took the time to work out how we could move forward together and at the back of my mind there was a niggle about his ex. We split up at the end of January.
Since then there has been an extraordinary amount of back and forth between us. I did meet someone else and dated him for a couple of months but during this time he would message me and insist on seeing me and I could not take that new relationship further as I still had feelings for my perfect partner.
I have completely lost myself with all of this and I have not been taking care of myself.
Eventually a couple of weeks ago he told me that he had been to see if he could work things out with ex. I don't know why he felt that he had to tell me this as we had not been in touch for a few weeks and I was getting some time out to get my head together. At the same time he said he needed closure on that relationship before he could move forward and that a large part of him wants to be with me. He constantly tells me he has strong feelings for me and that those feelings haven't gone away.
We talk about having children together and it confuses me that he would want to see how things go with a 54 year old who lives in another country. Yesterday it cumulated in a big argument between us and he agreed to leave me alone whilst he was sorting his head out. However, at the same time he would not accept that we will never see each other again.
My perfect partner tells me that he argues all of the time with His ex whereas I calm him down. When we make love it lasts for hours and hours and we cannot keep our hands off each other. He constantly tells me that looks wise I am his type and his ex is the total opposite of me. His family love me and he's says that they only ever tolerated his ex and that his mum was horrified that he was with someone so much older than him.
I believe in the LOA and believe that as I have worried and fretted over this so much that I have probably manifested it and the horrible way I am feeling. I would really like to snap out of this and attract him back into my life. However, I do think it is important that he gets over whatever it is he needs to get over with His ex as we cannot be happy together with this looming. I am finding it very difficult to not feel constantly sad.
Any tips?!?