I've read some posts and articles.. And I'm wondering if I am manifesting him further out of my life than back into my life? Is it possible?

I'm feeling ok more or less 60-70% of the day. Some days I feel 90%... But every day i would get negative thoughts.

What if he's seeing someone?
What if i'm too late?
What if it's been too long since we last talked? We were talking for 10 months before i went into NC and it's 4 months now.... I know time shouldn't matter but it does seems significant. (I kept going because even though we have not talked, he has been viewing all my stories. But today i have blocked him from viewing the stories because i don't want to be checking for his name so often...)

All sorts of what ifs. And it's the worst right before sleep and when I wake up.

I was falling asleep  half an hour ago when suddenly all negative thoughts came in. I wanted to post this earlier this morning but I put it off.

Can the universe get it wrong because of how i feel?