I have read multiple books by Lanie & appreciate the positive messages.. But so far, I have had no success. Sometimes, I fear that by using these techniques, I am focusing on someone that I should be moving on from even more than I already am.

First off, we were never official-- we were friends having sex who I caught strong feelings for. We only hung out 4 times, but I felt a connection that I couldn't explain... he immediately he had this hold over me. I wanted him more than I had wanted anyone in my whole life, and I have been in relationships before (ones that were actually official). He wasn't looking for anything serious, and when things got rough, he ended things with me suggesting we see other people. I have attempted PW and BWD on several occasions for the month of October with the guy who dumped me.. Initially, it felt good to do. I really did send him love, as deep down I do care for him and wanted him to be happy. I thought to myself, if it's meant to be, that it would happen. Perhaps it was just the wrong timing for us. But eventually, I lost the motivation b/c I started feeling angry at him. Angry that he was willing to let go of me just like that, that I was never worth the chance to him.. I have spent this past year trying to move on from him, and yet holding onto some shred of hope that he'll realize what he missed out on. I've done the things I was supposed to do-- going out and being social, making new experiences with new people, etc. Life went on. I've done all I could to better myself & have some good things going for me-- but I still resent him for not recognizing my worth. I resent him for giving me false hope of something that was real, and then not wanting me to be a part of his life when things got rough. Sometimes I wish he would beg for me back so that I could dump him. I know-- the key is to maintain a more positive attitude. But it's hard. I hate that he's had my heart all this time, and that I never had his. I see on his instagram (I know, I shouldn't stalk him. I have him deleted on everything but sometimes I take a peek) the pretty girls he hangs out with, girls that he says  is best friends with & that are so special to him, & wonder if I was ever anything more than just another girl he wanted to hook up with. Obviously he's not trying to hang out with me anymore.

I guess I'm humiliated that I let myself fall for him so easily, when he didn't feel the same. I felt a connection that was different from anything that I felt in my life and was so devastated to let it go. I had no choice but to try to move on. & sometimes I feel good about it, & other times I'm crying about it all over again.  I met someone new while on vacation, and he was a great guy who I felt such a connection with.. But this new guy lives in a diff country and we can't see each other in the near future anyways. I really felt I could move on when I was with this other guy, but went right back to feeling horrible about the one who dumped me when I returned home. Sadly, I haven't met any guys of interest where I live. All I have met are losers who only want to hook up with me.

How did y'all remain positive as time passed and he stood by his decision of rejecting you? How did y'all meditate on manifesting a connection with your former love interest, without letting yourself fixate on this person? 

Last edited by hopelessromantic (12/05/2019 6:02 am)