Posted by Sunshhine14  2/19/2017 6:13 am | #11 |
lovelychica25 wrote:
In my opinion, the best way for you to handle this situation is to take a step back from him. If he just got out of a relationship, he should take a stop & chill, instead of jumping into another relationship, especially before talking about marriage. How long ago did he break up with his ex?
As for you, take the time to love yourself and make sure that you are attracting exactly what you want, instead of settling for a guy that is crazy possessive & easily flies off the handles. If the signs of abuse are already showing, why do you want a relationship with him? I know marriage seems to be your goal, but is that the kind of marriage you want? Keep him at a distance and do PW that way...That's my advice
The ex he broke up with several weeks ago. He said she wanted marriage and he didn't feel strongly enough for her for that kind of commitment.
Yeah...it's not a question of me settling for someone. I'm not in a situation where I need to do that. But I found myself getting feelings for him before he demonstrated this behaviour, and when it happened I was kind of taken aback. I know it's just internet, but it happens....
Yes I agree with you. I need to step back and basically I have. I definitely wouldn't contact him. I would even have dropped him totally, but he keeps on liking things I post on social media and so that made me think that he still is interested in me. Even just now I found he did that last night also. And when he thanked me so formally for liking his post (calling me "miss" Lol), I felt it was just an excuse to talk. But he doesn't contact properly, which I find frustrating.
Last edited by Sunshhine14 (2/19/2017 6:14 am)
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Posted by Sunshhine14 2/19/2017 6:24 am | #12 |
So this is a guy you've never even met, who demands your facebook password, who tells you he doesn't want you talking to any other men, and you want to MARRY HIM??
Right: I did not want to give him my password. That was just unacceptable to me and I wouldn't do it.
I'm not too bothered about him not wanting me to talk to other men, because people get jealous and I think most of us would agree that we wouldn't want our guys chatting to other women either. I don't see that as too much of a big deal.
Potentially, yes I would like to marry him. He is drop-dead gorgeous and there is a hell of a lot of chemistry. However, like I said, I wanted to take things slow, so that I could make the final decision further down the line. I've known him for a year, but mostly that was just as friends, and he was lovely then. Now things have got more romantic I need time to know whether this is right for me or not. There are thngs I like and things that give me warnign signals. But I'd like him to approach me again properly so that I can have a chance to find out. I'm not going to initiate.
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Posted by Sunshhine14 2/19/2017 6:26 am | #13 |
I want to say ditto on the personality disorder. This guy sounds a lot like my ex boyfriend who made my life hell after I broke it off.
Sunshine, I know you like this man a lot but please be very cautious. He very much sounds like he is not mentally sound. I know that sounds harsh and I don't want to be mean but please just be careful.
Thank you. Yes I understand your concern and I also feel I need to be careful. No you're not being mean at all.
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Posted by Sunshhine14 2/19/2017 9:38 am | #14 |
Meanwhile I'm missing him badly. I feel totally in love. How do I handle this? What kind of Lanie meditation would be best for this situation?
There is NO Lanie meditation for this. Unless I've missed something, PW or any
of her other meditation methods are not intended to be used on sociopaths that
you meet online.
Do yourself a favor and move on from this. Seriously, you need to stay offline
with this person. If you want to meet guys online, go to a dating site and find
someone who can actually court you in the real world. Or sign up on It's Just
Lunch. Or ask your friends to introduce you to somebody. That's how you get
a real husband.
It might be beneficial for you to use a Lanie Empower Yourself Meditation such
as "Ask for Inner Guidance" or "Powerful, Wonderful You."
Thank you, Indigo.
It's ok. I wasn't specifically looking for a relationship online or a husband: it just kind of happened by chance and I found myself very drawn to him. Right now I feel like I'm in love, but I guess that feeling will pass.
Last edited by Sunshhine14 (2/19/2017 10:02 am)
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Posted by Sunshhine14 2/19/2017 9:46 am | #15 |
Thankyou for your replies, everyone.
I'm just going to let this go. I'm hurting a lot over this and I don't want to carry on this way. I'm also feeling angry at him now. I don't know yet whether I'll bother doing any more PW on him, but right now I'm not in the right frame of mind for it.
What I don't understand is, if we have split up, why is he still liking all my FB posts, sending me that invitation to like the wedding clothes, etc? And why did he contact me to say thank you for liking his post but never taking it any further when I was friendly? I mean, only half an hour ago I posted some photos of my town, and when I came back online just now I found he had liked the lot of them. But still he is silent. I really don't get it. I just don't know what's on his mind.
Guess I'm over-thinking, but right now I can't help it.
Last edited by Sunshhine14 (2/19/2017 10:00 am)
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Posted by Sunshhine14 2/19/2017 12:20 pm | #17 |
You have never met the guy, you really do not know him. You can't marry someone you have only met on line and the interaction has been liking posts? I can't believe what I am reading! Please take care. He sounds very strange.
No, the interaction has not been just liking posts. Maybe I haven't made myself clear. As I explained earlier we talked a lot and were getting to know each other over the past year. More recently it got romantic. It's not so unusual. Many people have had internet romances and met their partners that way. I don't see it as such a big deal.
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Posted by Indigo 2/19/2017 1:34 pm | #18 |
Thankyou for your replies, everyone.
I'm just going to let this go. I'm hurting a lot over this and I don't want to carry on this way. I'm also feeling angry at him now. I don't know yet whether I'll bother doing any more PW on him, but right now I'm not in the right frame of mind for it.
What I don't understand is, if we have split up, why is he still liking all my FB posts, sending me that invitation to like the wedding clothes, etc? And why did he contact me to say thank you for liking his post but never taking it any further when I was friendly? I mean, only half an hour ago I posted some photos of my town, and when I came back online just now I found he had liked the lot of them. But still he is silent. I really don't get it. I just don't know what's on his mind.
Guess I'm over-thinking, but right now I can't help it.
It is perfectly okay to meet someone online, that is not the issue. I met a man online years
ago and we became real life friends. We met in person pretty quickly after making contact,
sending emails, exchanging snail mail, talking on the telephone, and making plans to meet.
All of that occurred within a couple months. We traveled to see each other and everything
was great but in the end it did not turn into a meaningful relationship but we are still friends
today. One year is plenty enough time to actually meet that person in real life if he is truly
serious about having a relationship with you.
If you ended the relationship and he continues to follow you, it is either because he has got
issues or he has nothing better to do. The most important thing is that you have realized
that this is not a healthy relationship and that there is no future here.
ALL that matters is YOU!
We all want to support you get through this and if we seem critical it is only because of that.
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* Don’t Be Pushed By Your Problems. Be Led By Your Dreams ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson *
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Posted by Claire_Bear 2/19/2017 3:32 pm | #19 |
You have never met the guy, you really do not know him. You can't marry someone you have only met on line and the interaction has been liking posts? I can't believe what I am reading! Please take care. He sounds very strange.
No, the interaction has not been just liking posts. Maybe I haven't made myself clear. As I explained earlier we talked a lot and were getting to know each other over the past year. More recently it got romantic. It's not so unusual. Many people have had internet romances and met their partners that way. I don't see it as such a big deal.
Of course, and I am not criticising that, but surely you usually only talk about marriage after having met in person a good number of times? It's not having a go, it is just that I can't understand being romantic with someone you've not met personally.
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Posted by emmiline 2/19/2017 5:25 pm | #20 |
Hi sunshhine14,
I'm glad you're able to see where everyone is coming from.
As for the likes, realistically likes dont mean anything. Dont waste your time wondering what it means, many of us get caught up in the trap of looking for signs and trying to decipher them.
All advice given is intended in the best interest of whomever I may be replying to & my opinions may not necessarily reflect those of the wider community on the forum.
