Posted by Layla  3/13/2017 8:11 pm | #1 |
Hi everyone! New here! Nice to meet you!
I have been doing PW / BWD for 1 week on my love. We have been keeping in touch as friends since our break up last June, but I noticed in the past month he's been more distant to me. I don't think it's about me, but there's a lot going on in his life now (new job, moved to new country, new girl who he'll break up with after my RS :D) ... Anyway I am stopping myself from contacting him so much and giving him the "needy" vibe, and instead doing the RS methods to change his behavior
Yesterday I felt an urge/calling to sign on this online game that we used to play together all the time. I haven't played or signed on in 3 months! I was astounded that he had played the game 10 hours before me for the first time in 4 months (we are in different countries, so time difference). I feel that PW has created a "connection" between us because I can't explain how I felt the random need to check the game after so many months! I felt super grateful for the sign!
Unfortunately that evening, one of my beloved pets passed all of a sudden. I was devastated and shocked so I broke my NC and called him while he was at work. I haven't heard his voice since December. To my surprise he instantly picked up, and he listened to me for 5 min before he went back to work.
After that we texted a bit, and I mentioned I had a dream last week that my pet was in danger. His texts were a bit strange! They were referring to LOA concepts although I'm positive he does not know about LOA. He mentioned, if you think negative thoughts, negative things will happen. And dreams represent our subconscious. I thought it was bizarre! I told him about strange dreams I had in the past and he never mentioned these things! It was definitely out of character...
I ranted to him more out of sadness.. but he stopped replying. Now I'm just angry because I feel he is doing it on purpose to distance himself from me. But perhaps I am overthinking it.. Sometimes I really struggle to ignore the circumstances and just focus on my desired end result. I would love suggestions how to deal with those bouncy ball emotions (love him-> hate -> don't want anymore -> want)..
Anyway, just wanted to share these results and would appreciate any validation/feedback... :D
|
Posted by Indigo 3/13/2017 8:35 pm | #2 |
Welcome Layla!
I'm sorry about your little pet. What was it?
As to your BF, have you read Lanie's new book about
doing NC or are you using someone else's methods?
I don't know what to tell you about your mixed emotions,
that's just part of being a woman, I guess we all go
through that.
Keep doing PW because you just started and one week
is not a long time.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
* Don’t Be Pushed By Your Problems. Be Led By Your Dreams ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson *
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
|
Posted by Layla 3/13/2017 9:06 pm | #3 |
Indigo wrote:
Welcome Layla!
I'm sorry about your little pet. What was it?
As to your BF, have you read Lanie's new book about
doing NC or are you using someone else's methods?
I don't know what to tell you about your mixed emotions,
that's just part of being a woman, I guess we all go
through that.
Keep doing PW because you just started and one week
is not a long time.
Aw thanks, Indigo!
He was my little parrot of seven years. 
I haven't read that book! I'm not using anyone's method.. When I text him and he doesn't reply, I feel upset and feel my power is being taken away. It's not exactly "NC" I guess-- I think I should text him when I want to and really have something to say and not text just to get a response out of him. I will change his "cold" behavior with PW/BWD. Am I doing it right??
Thank you, will keep doing it!
|
Posted by Indigo 3/14/2017 1:22 am | #4 |
I haven't read that book! I'm not using anyone's method.. When I text him and he doesn't reply, I feel upset and feel my power is being taken away. It's not exactly "NC" I guess-- I think I should text him when I want to and really have something to say and not text just to get a response out of him. I will change his "cold" behavior with PW/BWD. Am I doing it right??
Thank you, will keep doing it!
I can't say if you're doing it right because you will know what works for you,
but obviously you don't want to feel upset and powerless when he doesn't
respond. The concept of doing NC as I understand it is that you don't set
yourself up for rejection by making contact. You don't want to give him the
impression that he's all you think about or have going on. You keep him
guessing and wondering what you're up to and not the other way around.
All of that in conjunction with the meditations which you should be doing
every single day for the rest of your life.
Lanie covers NC in her BU2MU book, but I would suggest you read ALL of
Lanie's books. She tells you the things that you really need to know in order
to gain/maintain control of your situation. Get those right away if you can
and read them. You will be glad you did. I promise you. And let us know
how it's going with you.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
* Don’t Be Pushed By Your Problems. Be Led By Your Dreams ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson *
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
|
Posted by Layla 3/14/2017 3:51 pm | #5 |
I haven't read that book! I'm not using anyone's method.. When I text him and he doesn't reply, I feel upset and feel my power is being taken away. It's not exactly "NC" I guess-- I think I should text him when I want to and really have something to say and not text just to get a response out of him. I will change his "cold" behavior with PW/BWD. Am I doing it right??
Thank you, will keep doing it!
I can't say if you're doing it right because you will know what works for you,
but obviously you don't want to feel upset and powerless when he doesn't
respond. The concept of doing NC as I understand it is that you don't set
yourself up for rejection by making contact. You don't want to give him the
impression that he's all you think about or have going on. You keep him
guessing and wondering what you're up to and not the other way around.
All of that in conjunction with the meditations which you should be doing
every single day for the rest of your life.
Lanie covers NC in her BU2MU book, but I would suggest you read ALL of
Lanie's books. She tells you the things that you really need to know in order
to gain/maintain control of your situation. Get those right away if you can
and read them. You will be glad you did. I promise you. And let us know
how it's going with you.
Thank you! I bought BU2MU! I will read it tonight! In my case, we decided to be friends after the breakup. I have a tough personal issue going on now and he has promised me to always support me as a genuine friend. I think in my heart I know he will always be there for me, but I subconsciously fear he will leave. In the past few weeks, he has been blowing hot and cold. Sometimes he is a normal friend who initiates and provides me valuable support that I need. But most recently he has been ignoring my texts, even serious ones. It gives me the feeling he is treating me "less than a friend." I do not think it's what he's doing that is bothering me, but what I *think" he is doing. I would ask myself, 'is he being a jerk on purpose? Is he trying to cut me off?" But I think it's all in my head... I give him excuses that..oh he is just super busy, etc.
When I do NC for a few days, I feel better, but I can't imagine doing it long run. I'm scared he'll take it as "oh good, you've moved on," ... But actually the reason I prefer to keep in touch is because I DO need his support for the issue I'm going through, only he knows about it.. What should I do?
|
Posted by Layla 3/14/2017 4:03 pm | #6 |
Welcome, Layla, and I too am very sorry about your parrot. All pets are extremely difficult to lose!
I imagine you aren't feeling your best right now, and most sources recommend only doing the PW when your mind is right and you are feeling good, because he will pick up on your energy. The wavering emotions toward him are only human, but as you practice this more, read more posts, books, websites, watch videos, etc., you will strengthen your mind muscles and be better able to just pick a goal and focus on it. So, if your goal is to have him back in a loving relationship, then you'll just decide that any thoughts that don't suit that end goal are unwelcome. Or maybe you'll decide he's not worth it and move on, but this will probably only be a "true" decision if it's made when you are in a really good vibe-ing place, feeling mentally strong.
Thank you. If I'm feeling desperate/needy, he will feel this energy.. so would doing PW now actually backfire? I always try to do it even if I'm not feeling my best because I thought it would be better than doing nothing. I'm trying to get myself feeling better now.
|
Posted by Sunshine 3/14/2017 4:42 pm | #7 |
Welcome Layla
Firstly I'm very sorry about your parrot. I'm very attached to my pets and really feel for you. Massive hugs.
With regards to your love, I totally understand the desperation and need to get him back. Having said that the girls are right and we need to bring our vibrations and wellbeing a bit higher to be effective in our manifestations. Have you tried Lanie's meditations? They're so good! When I feel not in the right space to do PW/BWD I do the Heart Forgiveness, Stop Worrying, Release your fear of Failure and Powerful You meditations to get me back on track. Most of the time after I do that I'm in a good place to do PW again, if I'm not I take a day off.
Also try EFT, It's explained in Lanie's newest book and it does help a lot! There's plenty of videos on you tube where you can follow the tapping sequence for different issues, this may be a way to start.
You're not alone girl, keep your head and vibes up xxx
Edit: oh yes and h'oponopono! It's so easy and works well! You can visualize your love or just focus on the feelings that are coming up and do h'oponopono on them to clear them
Last edited by Sunshine (3/14/2017 4:45 pm)
|
Posted by Indigo 3/14/2017 6:18 pm | #8 |
Thank you! I bought BU2MU! I will read it tonight! In my case, we decided to be friends after the breakup. I have a tough personal issue going on now and he has promised me to always support me as a genuine friend. I think in my heart I know he will always be there for me, but I subconsciously fear he will leave. In the past few weeks, he has been blowing hot and cold. Sometimes he is a normal friend who initiates and provides me valuable support that I need. But most recently he has been ignoring my texts, even serious ones. It gives me the feeling he is treating me "less than a friend." I do not think it's what he's doing that is bothering me, but what I *think" he is doing. I would ask myself, 'is he being a jerk on purpose? Is he trying to cut me off?" But I think it's all in my head... I give him excuses that..oh he is just super busy, etc.
When I do NC for a few days, I feel better, but I can't imagine doing it long run. I'm scared he'll take it as "oh good, you've moved on," ... But actually the reason I prefer to keep in touch is because I DO need his support for the issue I'm going through, only he knows about it.. What should I do?
If the two of you agreed to be friends and he promised to always support
you but now he's ignoring you when you call indicates that something is
not right. Have you spoken to him about this? Is he a reliable person?
You cannot force him to stay in touch but if you have a serious problem
and he knows you rely on him then he needs to come through for you or
you need to get a better friend.
Real friends that I confide in and trust, I expect them to be there for me
no matter if I call them during regular business hours or in the middle of
the night, and they can call me anytime also. If we miss the call then we
get back to each other in a timely manner, especially if we know that it's
something important. That's what real friends do and I don't think it's too
much to ask or expect. If you are friends, then let him know what you
think about it and find out what's up. Don't come at him from a scared
and needy position, but from a powerful position of strength. Let him
know that you need to be able to count on him otherwise he can scoot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
* Don’t Be Pushed By Your Problems. Be Led By Your Dreams ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson *
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
|
Posted by Layla 3/14/2017 6:57 pm | #9 |
Thank you! I bought BU2MU! I will read it tonight! In my case, we decided to be friends after the breakup. I have a tough personal issue going on now and he has promised me to always support me as a genuine friend. I think in my heart I know he will always be there for me, but I subconsciously fear he will leave. In the past few weeks, he has been blowing hot and cold. Sometimes he is a normal friend who initiates and provides me valuable support that I need. But most recently he has been ignoring my texts, even serious ones. It gives me the feeling he is treating me "less than a friend." I do not think it's what he's doing that is bothering me, but what I *think" he is doing. I would ask myself, 'is he being a jerk on purpose? Is he trying to cut me off?" But I think it's all in my head... I give him excuses that..oh he is just super busy, etc.
When I do NC for a few days, I feel better, but I can't imagine doing it long run. I'm scared he'll take it as "oh good, you've moved on," ... But actually the reason I prefer to keep in touch is because I DO need his support for the issue I'm going through, only he knows about it.. What should I do?
If the two of you agreed to be friends and he promised to always support
you but now he's ignoring you when you call indicates that something is
not right. Have you spoken to him about this? Is he a reliable person?
You cannot force him to stay in touch but if you have a serious problem
and he knows you rely on him then he needs to come through for you or
you need to get a better friend.
Real friends that I confide in and trust, I expect them to be there for me
no matter if I call them during regular business hours or in the middle of
the night, and they can call me anytime also. If we miss the call then we
get back to each other in a timely manner, especially if we know that it's
something important. That's what real friends do and I don't think it's too
much to ask or expect. If you are friends, then let him know what you
think about it and find out what's up. Don't come at him from a scared
and needy position, but from a powerful position of strength. Let him
know that you need to be able to count on him otherwise he can scoot.
I called and he picked up right away, even at work. And he texted me after for a bit. But I am expecting a lot more... Maybe I should not have expectations right now. Even a few weeks ago he had been super supportive. But most recently, he seems a bit down. Honestly, I think it could just busyness and he's having mood swings and it's not related to me. I am afraid to ask because I fear whatever the truth is. I have all sorts of paranoia such as, his new gf found out he's still talking to me and she's forbidding him, he doesn't want to tell me what's going on in his life because it would hurt me.., etc.
|
Posted by Indigo 3/14/2017 8:11 pm | #10 |
I called and he picked up right away, even at work. And he texted me after for a bit. But I am expecting a lot more... Maybe I should not have expectations right now. Even a few weeks ago he had been super supportive. But most recently, he seems a bit down. Honestly, I think it could just busyness and he's having mood swings and it's not related to me. I am afraid to ask because I fear whatever the truth is. I have all sorts of paranoia such as, his new gf found out he's still talking to me and she's forbidding him, he doesn't want to tell me what's going on in his life because it would hurt me.., etc.
I understand. All of this will pass in time. Please read Lanie's books and other books
also, do things to regain your self-confidence, and do some meditations, whichever
ones work best for you.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
* Don’t Be Pushed By Your Problems. Be Led By Your Dreams ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson *
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
