Update!!
I started back doing my pw consistently. As of Wednesday. My love came over yesterday because I had a souvenir for him from my trip. Prior to him coming I had done bwd on the bus home from work. When he got to my place he asked to see pictures from the trip and we ended taking a shot of rum that knocked us out lol we took the a nap on my couch and about 20 minutes later I woke up and really felt like I wanted him. So I took my opportunity and straddled him lol exactly how I visualized it in my bwd (clothes on). he woke up and said "that feels good) so One thing led to another and we ended up making love. It's been over 1 year since we've touched eachother so it felt great. Not sure how I feel about it now... I don't want this turning into a friends with benefits situation so I'm going to stop bwd for now and stick with pw only.