Piper wrote:

forgetmenot111 wrote:

Piper wrote:

You're very welcome. I think the first thing is to get rid of the fear and doubt, then continue to work the techniques on the guy if you want. It's a process and takes time. We attract what we fear because fear tends to be a much stronger emotion and we focus on it. I would try to change your focus - put it on you until you rid yourself of the doubt that this stuff works. You can try to manifest small things at first and then work your way up to larger things.

I did so much work on my previous ex and I was so dependent upon him. Once I changed my focus to myself, my kids and just being happy, I realized I didn't really want him anymore. The guy I'm with now came into my life during the time I was still pining over my ex. But, spending time with him, he made me forget about the ex. My current guy disappeared for a while and now he's back. I did do PW on him when he disappeared, so it did actually manifest, but took a while. It was when I totally let go of him that he popped back up and told me he was in-love with me and had been for a long time. I still thought of him regularly, but didn't focus on him at all. And, I've clearly had feelings for him for as long as he has for me.

The letting go part is THE most important step in this process. You can visualize until your blue in the face, but until you are grateful and happy for your life, it may not happen. 

Everything I've learned has been from LOTS of reading, practicing and finding out what works best for me. I read Neville daily and have for many years because he reassures me that anything is possible. So, I would definitely find some books that make you feel that way. 
 

Okay, so maybe I should do some more reading on LOA / success stories to assist myself with raising my vibe & also trusting the process. My controlling/obsessive nature takes over & I truly don't know how to let go.

When you say that you thought of him regularly, but didn't focus on him, what do you mean by that exactly? Because when I start out thinking about my POI, I tend to stress about whether my technique has reached him, if hes thinking about me, if hes with the girl that I noticed is following him on instagram, etc. Needless to say, this is 100% attachment. And I know the letting go aspect is the most important with LOA. I exhaust myself. It's just so hard to wrap my end around the "living in the end" result when my physical realm doesn't show him here. 

I am sorry to continue to babble. I just can't seem to get out of my own way!

Don't be sorry, that what this forum is here for

Ok, my password to get into my phone is his name, so when I would unlock my phone in the morning, I would type in his name and I would say hi to him in my mind. I would also think of him when I would see him name, but after a quick thought, I would carry on with what I'm doing. I didn't obsess, which I know can be a problem. I did, however, obsess a little after my break-up with my ex, but then worked to normalize my emotions. But my guy now, no obsession.

May I suggest staying off social media all together? It only encourages an obsessive attitude, especially if you're an overthinker (like me). 

It takes time. Here's the thing, if you truly want to be with him, you have to learn how to control your emotions and thoughts. You can read, which was awesome for me, or watch youtube or whatever works for you. Perhaps affirmations would work for you, but I would definitely focus on YOU, before him. Do things you love, improve yourself as much as you can - workout. Play video games to take your mind off of him. Listen to music that isn't sad and makes you think of him -  funny music (Richard Cheese is fab). Watch funny movies. Just take time to make yourself happy first.
 

Yeah. I think I need to take a break from social media. Because, like you, I am a MAJOR overthinker. I create chaos in my brain! It's definitely become and obsession. And it feels terrible. I've never had this after a break up. What do you mean no obsession with your current guy?

I keep saying this, but I think I hold on / have attachment because I fear that the universe won't deliver if I carry on with my life & happy with my current state. But the truth is that's when your intentions actually manifest, right?

I have like 5-7 more pounds I'd like to lose (I'm down 33 right now) so I feel like concentrating on that would be really good for me. I'd reach my goal weight & raise my vibration at the same time.

Piper wrote:

forgetmenot111 wrote:

Piper wrote:

Don't be sorry, that what this forum is here for

Ok, my password to get into my phone is his name, so when I would unlock my phone in the morning, I would type in his name and I would say hi to him in my mind. I would also think of him when I would see him name, but after a quick thought, I would carry on with what I'm doing. I didn't obsess, which I know can be a problem. I did, however, obsess a little after my break-up with my ex, but then worked to normalize my emotions. But my guy now, no obsession.

May I suggest staying off social media all together? It only encourages an obsessive attitude, especially if you're an overthinker (like me). 

It takes time. Here's the thing, if you truly want to be with him, you have to learn how to control your emotions and thoughts. You can read, which was awesome for me, or watch youtube or whatever works for you. Perhaps affirmations would work for you, but I would definitely focus on YOU, before him. Do things you love, improve yourself as much as you can - workout. Play video games to take your mind off of him. Listen to music that isn't sad and makes you think of him -  funny music (Richard Cheese is fab). Watch funny movies. Just take time to make yourself happy first.
 

Yeah. I think I need to take a break from social media. Because, like you, I am a MAJOR overthinker. I create chaos in my brain! It's definitely become and obsession. And it feels terrible. I've never had this after a break up. What do you mean no obsession with your current guy?

I keep saying this, but I think I hold on / have attachment because I fear that the universe won't deliver if I carry on with my life & happy with my current state. But the truth is that's when your intentions actually manifest, right?

I have like 5-7 more pounds I'd like to lose (I'm down 33 right now) so I feel like concentrating on that would be really good for me. I'd reach my goal weight & raise my vibration at the same time.

I had it too with my ex when he ended the relationship, but it's a matter of wanting to feel better and doing the work to not be upset all the time. I totally understand the overthinking part since I'm the same.

Like I said, I did PW on my current guy when he disappeared, but I didn't obsess about him or anything, I just allowed the work I did to take affect - it did, because over a year later he popped up and we're together . It's so much easier to allow things you want to happen, rather than trying to force it. I tried to force it with my ex and he hasn't talked to me in a very long time (I'm ok with it). When he does, and he WILL, I doubt I will talk to him at all because I'm happy where I'm at now and he's not needed or wanted.

I think focusing on those last couple stubborn pounds will help you a lot. Congrats on your weight loss . 
 

Yeah, you make a lot of sense. It's like anything else. When I go to the store looking for something specific and I'm searching everywhere for this particular item. I have no luck, but then days later when I don't need it or want it anymore, there are a million.

I'm going to take your advice and focus on me. Doing what makes me happy. And I have to say, being back at work is a major plus. My mind is occupied the majority of the time & im so happy and cheerful since I'm with my students.

Olive,
I don't know if you've mentioned before, but are you visualizing? I wonder if the universe is just having these platonic and friendly meetups because the intention is unclear? I'm new to all of this so forgive me if I'm off balance or out of bounds.

The other thing is sometimes the Universe delivers little by little. I would still take it as a positive. Remain positive and keep up the Faith!

Olive wrote:

forgetmenot111 wrote:

Olive,
I don't know if you've mentioned before, but are you visualizing? I wonder if the universe is just having these platonic and friendly meetups because the intention is unclear? I'm new to all of this so forgive me if I'm off balance or out of bounds.

The other thing is sometimes the Universe delivers little by little. I would still take it as a positive. Remain positive and keep up the Faith!

Yes I am visualizing and mostly us being together, him saying that he misses me and now wants a relationship and things like that. But maybe I am not doing these enough? Like I do it very rarely maybe once in a week.. the rest I try to let go and feel good and have the feeling of him already being with me

Olive,
I'm not the greatest manifestor, I've actually been trying to remain positive and happy. I actually think what you do sounds best! The letting go part I've read is actually most important. I wouldn't read into it. I'd definitely take your meetups as a positive thing! It means you're getting closer. At least that's how I'd take it. Of course we all want more. But try to be grateful for running into him. I WISH I'd run into my POI. Everything will work out!!