Lanie Stevens "Empowering Women" - http://laniestevens.com / Visualising POI

**Posted by Carolineb** 8/27/2020 1:12 pm

Hi all,
This is my first post although I've been reading and doing Lanies' meditations for various things for a while.
My problem is I've known my POI for 12 yrs we've been close friends for yrs and then had an on off relationship for a while and spoke or saw each other nearly every day. We had a big row recently and hurtful things were said on both sides. I miss him and don't want to lose the friendship let alone anything else but when I try to visualise him I can't do it!! I can't remember what he looks like no matter how hard I try 😟. I can remember ex boyfriends, even my ex husband but not the one I desire to visualise. What am I doing wrong and why can't I do this ...help please 😢

**Posted by Mara** 8/28/2020 6:54 pm

Hey girl! I totally get what you mean!! Visualization is super hard for some of us (including me) so what I try to do is just not focus on every detail of my POI Face, bc you will get so caught up in the details! So try not to “see” them in every detail, make it be from a distance, or even try to just visualize holding their hand and focus on the feeling of it. Don’t be so hard on yourself and focus too much on what the person looks like but rather try to get a general image of them and then focus more on the feeling (positive ones only!!). Also u can try holding up a picture of them! And then close your eyes and visualize them, so that you’re using that picture to help create the image!! Hope this helps!

**Posted by Carolineb** 8/29/2020 5:33 am

Hi Mara, thank you that's a great help and comfort to know I'm not the only one! I thought about a picture of him but wasn't sure if it would work but certainly will try that now. It's just so weird that I can't "see" him but see others who are of no interest to me but you're right I'm concentrating too much on the visualisation instead of relaxing and enjoying (along with him I hope) the experience xx