Hie.....
 
I am also from India.....n from defence...hence I sent u this msg!!! Just calm down for a bit. Which state are u from? I can completely feel what a terrible state u might be in.....its really bad but tell me what can be done right now.....marriage in India is not what its in abroad.....its a union of a hell lotta people.....so currently u need to be a little calm....I know it sounds shit and u must be toatlly broken, but u know what.....let it all come out.....it needs to.....
 
U just have to give yourself some time. I am really feeling so much for u.....May god b by your side, and u know what, we all go through this. Its a part of life. It will take time, but u will make it. For the time being just take care of yourself. 
 
God bless.
Tessy

My dear...

U are right, each nation has its own advantages and disadvantages. I also had a similar experience but yes not as strong as yours. Marriage as an institution is losing its value, but two people moving away or breaking up dosnt mean the entire country is bad! Just one thing - What u are going through, each one is, in some way or hte other! Its natural for u to react this way, when we fall in love, this world looks beautiful and when that ONE person is not there or cheated us, the universe looks ill!
I am so so aware of your feelings, but also I know getting married or breaking a marriage is not an easy task in this country and the so called taboo it is. And its not difficult for people to move on, they so happily do it. Its the other person being honest, loving and truthful suffers!! This also happens frequently in military, at least I have seen many cases trust me. U loved him deeply, so be it. He is the looser, u think he will be happy marrying for money? Naaahhhhhhhh.....every thing comes back, earth is round and moving. 

Tessy wrote:

My dear...

U are right, each nation has its own advantages and disadvantages. I also had a similar experience but yes not as strong as yours. Marriage as an institution is losing its value, but two people moving away or breaking up dosnt mean the entire country is bad! Just one thing - What u are going through, each one is, in some way or hte other! Its natural for u to react this way, when we fall in love, this world looks beautiful and when that ONE person is not there or cheated us, the universe looks ill!
I am so so aware of your feelings, but also I know getting married or breaking a marriage is not an easy task in this country and the so called taboo it is. And its not difficult for people to move on, they so happily do it. Its the other person being honest, loving and truthful suffers!! This also happens frequently in military, at least I have seen many cases trust me. U loved him deeply, so be it. He is the looser, u think he will be happy marrying for money? Naaahhhhhhhh.....every thing comes back, earth is round and moving. 

Marriage in this country never was an institution of uniting people. Let's be honest about it. Since centuries marriage here was done so that you get a woman who will be your servant in your house, pop out some kids, sexually satisfy the needs of the man, do the household chores, bring money from your family, someone you can beat up etc. In fact many people still say, she is a girl, are we supposed to keep her at home? 
And women are the same. They want a man to feed them, earn for them, they want to get a license to fuck other men secretly, bring money for them, abuse the men, etc 
You call this "marriage"? in fact in this country, it's not losing it's value. People are slowly (very slowly and very few people) realising marriage is a union of two hearts and hence should be treated that way. Not something you do to please "society and people".
I have seen people who married for the usual reasons we have here and ended up regretting a lot and realising that marriage is supposed to have love and respect first. So I don't think it is losing it's value, at least not here.

Oasiscalm wrote:

Aphrodite11 wrote:

mrstkg wrote:

The way you are going in on yourself, I can see a lot of the issue here. But I won't play psychotherapist. You'll heal. Yeah, you can keep going with focusing in on him to leave her etc...but Lanie advises against that if they are married. I agree. Cry it out. Delete any trace of him. Day by day you'll gain strength, then start affirming YOUR worth. That's a huge issue here. I'm sorry hun. I know it has to hurt. I have a similar story.(he was going through a divorce when we fell in love, i thought for sure we'd be together when it finalized, but nope...he got a GF. Pictures of her alllll over his FB page. And this was after discussing having a child with me) It hurt like hell.I moved on. But he ended calling me a few times trying to see me, even recently. I look at him now like SCREW you bastard. Let him wallow in his regrets. This guy just might as well. You'll see.

I just don't understand how do these people hop from one person to next especially after talking about important things. Don't they feel anything for the previous person? Don't they feel anything for anyone? Fucking monkeys I tell you !!! The hell even monkeys are more stable !!! 

And their insensitivity baffles the fuck out of me !!! As a human they can at least understand that the other person will be hurt by such posts, can't they? It's not rocket science. It's common sense. Don't they think even once that he/she will be hurt by this.
He has posted so much, at least he can block me so that I don't see all this. He might have to post all that but he can block me so I don't see and then continue posting. But no !!!! He won't block me !!! If you broke up with me, want me out of your life, want nothing to do with me then why not just block me? Why let me know anything about your life?

What I also felt was that he has moved ahead in his life. He has gotten married. And here I am still dealing with all that happened and picking myself up. He moved ahead and am stuck here !!!!!!! How can someone move ahead so easily, so quickly? I want to know how he did that !!!! So that I can do it so quickly too. 7 months and I am still recovering !!!!

Why are we still talking about this.

Let look at this objectively.

1- He is now married. The reasons behind his marriage has absolutely nothing to do with you. It is his life not yours.

2- He can post whatever the hell he wants. He is not responsible for your happiness. Why should he block you in order to post his happy moments. It you don't want to see his posts unfriend him, block him, don't look at his posts.

3- Your feelings are your responsibility, not his. He is not obligated to life his life to your ideals. He is not responsible for how you feel. His objective is to please himself and your objective is to please yourself.

4- Move on. Step away from all this anger. It's eating away at you. How can you expect to attract joy when all you are projecting is anger and hate. There is no set time in which someone can move on. Where is the contract that says we must wait for a specific time to move on.

I agree with everything you have said. And I know these things. I am the one who gave away all my power. I allowed myself to be affected so much. And I trying to work on it. It just hasn't been easy. hopefully I will move on.

Aphrodite11 wrote:

Oasiscalm wrote:

Aphrodite11 wrote:

I just don't understand how do these people hop from one person to next especially after talking about important things. Don't they feel anything for the previous person? Don't they feel anything for anyone? Fucking monkeys I tell you !!! The hell even monkeys are more stable !!! 

And their insensitivity baffles the fuck out of me !!! As a human they can at least understand that the other person will be hurt by such posts, can't they? It's not rocket science. It's common sense. Don't they think even once that he/she will be hurt by this.
He has posted so much, at least he can block me so that I don't see all this. He might have to post all that but he can block me so I don't see and then continue posting. But no !!!! He won't block me !!! If you broke up with me, want me out of your life, want nothing to do with me then why not just block me? Why let me know anything about your life?

What I also felt was that he has moved ahead in his life. He has gotten married. And here I am still dealing with all that happened and picking myself up. He moved ahead and am stuck here !!!!!!! How can someone move ahead so easily, so quickly? I want to know how he did that !!!! So that I can do it so quickly too. 7 months and I am still recovering !!!!

Why are we still talking about this.

Let look at this objectively.

1- He is now married. The reasons behind his marriage has absolutely nothing to do with you. It is his life not yours.

2- He can post whatever the hell he wants. He is not responsible for your happiness. Why should he block you in order to post his happy moments. It you don't want to see his posts unfriend him, block him, don't look at his posts.

3- Your feelings are your responsibility, not his. He is not obligated to life his life to your ideals. He is not responsible for how you feel. His objective is to please himself and your objective is to please yourself.

4- Move on. Step away from all this anger. It's eating away at you. How can you expect to attract joy when all you are projecting is anger and hate. There is no set time in which someone can move on. Where is the contract that says we must wait for a specific time to move on.

I agree with everything you have said. And I know these things. I am the one who gave away all my power. I allowed myself to be affected so much. And I trying to work on it. It just hasn't been easy. hopefully I will move on.

 
When I was first doing pw and bwd, I was very angry and bitter and at times sent very angry bitter, hateful messages to him. It backfired on me horribly. I mostly sent love, but I still was so angry and jealous. I am ashamed I may have hurt him that way. I now only send love. This morning while fully awake I heard the female voice in my head say"give him time" in Christianity it teaches to do things with love , not hate. I have no idea what will happen, but I will accept it as it comes and I want him to be happy.